Balthazar Jones is a Beefeater – one of the traditional guards of the Tower of London, whose functions have evolved over the centuries from guarding condemned prisoners to directing tourists to the lavatories and answering questions such as “Which tower did they keep Princess Diana in after her divorce?”  And while Balthazar has a job that many would covet, he also has a LOT of problems.  For one thing, Buckingham Palace has recently decided to move the Queen’s Menagerie from the London Zoo back to its historic home at the Tower, and Balthazar has been tapped as the Keeper.  (The Queen caught wind of the fact that Balthazar is the proud owner of Mrs. Cook, the world’s oldest tortoise, and figured that tortoise expertise would naturally translate to other animals.)  Soon a load of animals has arrived at the Tower – including a foul-smelling zorilla, a pair of lovebirds who hate one another, a talking parrot, a bloodthirsty Komodo dragon, and a high-strung Etruscan shrew.  Then there are the penguins, which belong to the menagerie but have somehow gone missing… and the giraffes, which belong to the zoo but have somehow ended up with the menagerie.  And if Balthazar doesn’t have his plate full enough already, his wife Hebe Jones has decided that she’s had enough.  Now Balthazar has to figure out how to win back his wife… and meanwhile, the animals are creeping further and further into his heart too.

The Tower, The Zoo and The Tortoise was a sweet, funny, poignant read.  I loved both Balthazar and Hebe and rooted for them to work out their differences, which were rooted in a very sad family tragedy.  I knew that Balthazar and Hebe loved each other and were both grieving in their own ways, and I wanted to see them realize that about one another.  Aside from Balthazar and Hebe, the supporting cast was just as charming and engaging – there was Rev. Septimus Drew, the rat-hating, erotic-prose-writing vicar of the Tower’s church, who is secretly pining for Ruby Dore, landlady of the Tower pub “The Rack and Ruin”… the philandering Ravenmaster… the corpulent Yeoman Gaoler, who reluctantly takes charge of the Etruscan shrew… Valerie Jennings, who works with Hebe Jones at the London Underground Lost Property Office and is courted by Arthur Catnip, a ticket collector of limited height… and so many others, all of whom had charming and hilarious and sad stories.

Julia Stuart weaves all of these disparate threads together masterfully.  The book moves at a slow pace, and at first it seems that not much is happening, and that none of the storylines really coincide.  But by the end, the characters have come together in ways that show their true regard for one another, and the reader is rewarded for her patience with a satisfying conclusion.  I found The Tower, The Zoo and The Tortoise to be a sweet, gentle, uplifting read.  It made me laugh and cry and root for the characters from beginning to end.  And I learned a bit of Tower history in the meantime – oh, and the next time I visit the Tower I certainly won’t ask where the lavatories are.  Highly recommended.

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