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It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? (March 25, 2019)

Good morning from Virginia’s Blue Ridge!  I’m on a business trip to a tiny town near Roanoke and currently extremely relieved that it isn’t snowing like it was last week.  (Just as the trees were bursting into bloom all over NoVA, the practice assistant to the partner who assigned me the trip emailed me a picture of “what the weather is doing” in the town that was to be my destination: blizzard conditions.  Yipes!  But it was seventy degrees when I rolled into town last night, so I think I dodged a bullet.)  Unfortunately I have such a busy schedule that I don’t think I’m going to have time to squeeze in any hiking – I didn’t even bother to pack my boots.

Other than dreading my business trip – mainly because of the punishing schedule that was circulated on Friday – it was a pretty nice weekend.  Steve had to work again, so the kids and I mainly bummed around the house on Saturday.  We attempted to ride bikes to the playground, but had to turn around because nothing I did was going to convince them to ride the same speed, or even close enough together to allow me to keep them both safe from cars.  In the afternoon, Nugget and I made playground and library runs – pretty standard stuff.  On Sunday, we were all set to head out for a hike at Mason Neck, my favorite Virginia state park, when I realized that Nugget had a rescheduled play date – oops!  Plans quickly changed and Peanut delightedly curled up with a book and a blanket while Nugget and I headed to his friend’s house.  We had a lovely morning, walked to the playground near his buddy’s house, and went out for Mexican food.  In the afternoon, there was more playground-going, and I worked through most of my garden to-do list for March.  And then my workweek got started early as I climbed into my car and shoved off for my business trip.

Reading.  Evidently, I had a very Royals-heavy reading week last week.  From Monday through Thursday, I was immersed in Queen Victoria: Twenty-Four Days that Changed Her Life, the new biography from Lucy Worsley.  I thought it was such a creative way to approach a biography and I enjoyed every minute.  Next I turned to Ninety-Nine Glimpses of Princess Margaret, not because I am on some kind of royalty bender (at least, no more than usual) but because of library deadlines.  It’s also a very creative approach to biography, but I’m not sure I am enjoying it quite as much as I enjoyed Queen Victoria.  I’m still reading the Margaret biography as of press time; I did bring my next book (The Glass Ocean) with me, but I’m not sure I will have time to finish with Margaret and start anything new on this trip; between the schedule while I am here, and trying to keep up with my other work, I’m expecting to be buried in my laptop the whole time.

Watching.  Nothing – I’m still recovering from my epic week of watching the entire second season of The Crown with my mom over the course of five days.  I did watch parts of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse again while the kids were glued to it, but I’ve now seen it so many times I don’t really need to pay attention.  (It’s such a good movie.)

Listening.  Lots of podcasts, as usual.  I actually had a lovely drive out to the mountains yesterday evening, listening to Tea or Books? and the new-ish Slightly Foxed Podcast.  I’d been saving both for a long car ride – when I listen to podcasts during my commutes, it’s in snatches of a few minutes here and a few minutes there, while waiting for trains, standing in the coffee line, etc., and I wanted to play these episodes straight through.  They made the trip speed by.

Making.  Nothing at all.  I’d hoped to make a loaf of sourdough and a batch of olive focaccia at some point this weekend, but that didn’t happen.  I’d also hoped to make folded laundry and a clean bedroom, but that didn’t happen either.

Blogging.  It’s a bookish week!  On Wednesday I have two more books to review for The Classics Club – I actually read them months ago, but was saving the review until I could do the whole series in one shot.  It occurred to me that would be an absurdly long post, so I decided to break them out instead and do them two at a time.  On Friday, I’m sharing a book that I recently read and couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out if I’d read before.  Book deja vu?

Loving.  With spring springing everywhere, my bird feeder has been an especially hot spot lately.  I have a squirrel-proof variety from National Audubon Society (the squirrel-proof part is totally necessary in my neighborhood – they’re EVERYWHERE) and I love to sit by the window and watch the birds flitting between the tree, the fence, and the feeder.  So far we’ve mostly had our run-of-the-mill sparrows and wrens, but I’m always hoping for a cardinal or two.

Asking.  What are you reading this week?

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Garden Tasks: March 2019

I’ve been feeling really inspired to get my hands dirty and get into the garden this season.  I’m not entirely sure why, because last year’s garden was such a failure.  We got a paltry handful of cherry tomatoes and a few herbs, and lost everything else to the neighborhood pests – birds and especially the squirrels.  But past failures aside, the garden is calling to me this year and has been for months – so I’m trying something new.  In addition to the regular garden updates I’ve been doing for several years now (which will begin in April) I am going to share my to-do list for each month in my little urban patio garden.

Here’s what I’m hoping to accomplish in March:

  • Clean the weeds and moss out from between the patio bricks and take the waste to the local compost drop.
  • Filter out the detritus from Nugget’s sandbox (and order new sand, if necessary).
  • Buy seat cushions for the patio set and propane for the grill.
  • Salvage what I can from the rosemary pot and make dried rosemary for the kitchen.
  • Thoroughly clean the soil in the tomato and herb pots, take out dead leaves and roots, and mix in new container gardening soil to prepare the pots for planting.
  • Clean out the bird feeder in the front yard.
  • Weed the front yard and research ground cover.

A relatively short list for a relatively small garden!  March is mostly about preparing the space for planting in April, because I know myself – once the weather is warm enough to get the plants in the pots, I will have no patience for those preparatory tasks.  Better to get ready now, so that the fun can begin in earnest next month.

Do you have a garden?  What’s on your to-do list for this month?

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The Spring List 2019

As Kelly of Lovewell Blog would say, spring is my fourth favorite season.  It just doesn’t speak to me.  Between the fluctuating temperatures, the soaring pollen counts, the crowds of cherry blossom tourists, and the weeks of juggling work, home and school responsibilities before the exhale of summer, I’m usually frazzled and over it.  There are certain consolations to the season – flowers, for instance.  And longer days, and the approach of summer.  And – of course – the fun of working my way through a list of seasonal delights (while hopped up on Allegra).  Here’s what I’m thinking this year:

  • A MUST: hike the Bluebell Loop Trail at Bull Run during peak week.
  • Help Peanut and Nugget hunt for eggs in the churchyard after a joyous Easter service.
  • Host my mother-in-law, my parents and our dear family friends on successive weekends in April.
  • Stock up on the gear that Steve and I will need for our kayaking trip to the San Juan Islands this summer.  My REI dividends just arrived and will be put to good use!
  • Related: get into eco-touring shape with regular gym-going during the week and weekend paddling as soon as the boathouse opens.
  • Read Wives and Daughters, by Elizabeth Gaskell.
  • Clear the winter detritus off the back patio, stock up on herbs, veggies and fruit (!!!) and get my container garden started for the season.
  • Get my dad’s old camera fixed and cleaned, and start shooting film.
  • Listen to the new Decemberists limited edition EP, Traveling On, on my record player by an open window.
  • Take a photography walk with my dSLR through my neighborhood once the blossoms are out.

So much of my spring to-do list, every year, is about shifting seasons.  Dusting off winter, preparing for summer.  But I hope that I take some time to appreciate the season and the particular glories that spring brings.  Sometimes I forget to do that, and I need to remind myself.

What is on your springtime agenda?

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It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? (March 18, 2019)

Happy Monday, friends!  We had such a fun party weekend around here, I just wish it could keep going for another week.  Most of last week (starting Tuesday) my mom was in town.  The kids were over the moon to get some extended quality time with Nana – it’s always so nice having her here.  I had a super stressful Friday at work, so I was ready to relax and have fun by the time I got home.  We kicked off birthday party weekend with the zoo on Saturday morning: always a treat.  The kids had a grand time running around, and we got to hear the tiger roar and see the little orangutan, Redd, climbing around outside.  Too much fun!  We spent Saturday afternoon on the playgrounds and at the library, of course; Nana knows all our haunts, but it’s always fun to share them with her.  On Sunday, Nugget and I slipped out in the morning to pick up his birthday cake, then we spent midday hanging out on the back patio – I love that it’s finally nice enough to play outside for extended periods of time without shivering.  FINALLY, FINALLY, it was time to head to the party – I know Nugget would tell you it took FOREVERRRRR to get here.  He had the very best time ever at his indoor bounce house extravaganza – running around with his sweaty hair plastered to his forehead and the biggest grin on his face.  It was a little bittersweet for me – I love anything that makes him happy, but I can’t deny that he’s getting SO BIG.

Reading.  It was a fairly slow reading week.  I never get through as many books when I’m either visiting family or have them visiting me.  But between commutes and a few before-bed pages, I made it through The Joy of the Snow (finished on Monday, so before Nana mania began on Tuesday), then The Murder of Roger Ackroyd for most of the week, and Three Men on the Bummel over the weekend – finished up Sunday night right before my head hit the pillow.

Watching.  It was a very watching-heavy week for me.  My mom doesn’t have Netflix, so when she visits me she likes to get caught up on The Crown.  She’d seen the first season, but not the second season, so we found ourselves watching ten episodes in five days – that’s about two hours of TV a night, which may not seem like much, but it’s a LOT for me.  I half-jokingly said I wouldn’t be watching TV for the next five months after this week.  I’ll probably turn it on again sooner than that, but I’m very television-ed out for now.  No regrets, though!

Listening.  Same as usual – lots of podcasts.  The Sorta Awesome spring seasonal show was a lot of fun – I always love their seasonal episodes.  Especially for spring – I’m on record as admitting that it’s not my favorite season, so anything I can do to make it more fun, I’m going to try.  I loved Rebekah’s idea to get cute 3D animal umbrellas for the kiddos – I think Peanut and Nugget might find some fun little brollies in their Easter baskets this year.

Making.  Well, it was a light making week.  I have barley soaking on the counter for beefless barley soup I’m planning to make this evening.  Does that count?  Normally, I’d say I made a birthday party for my boy baby, but I didn’t really do anything except hand over my credit card; the venue took care of basically everything else.  (All we had to bring was the cake.)  It was nice not to worry about it and not to be tearing around, stressed to the max, all morning – but I did feel kind of useless just standing there while the Pump It Up! staff refilled fruit punches and handed pizza and cake around.

Blogging.  It’s a springy week for you!  It may not be my favorite season, but I’m leaning into it as best I can.  On Wednesday, I have my spring fun list, and on Friday, a to-do list for March in the garden.  (I guess in addition to being a springy week, it’s a listy week.)  Check in with me then!

Loving.  It’s been wonderful having my mom here for almost a whole week.  The kids love her so much!  (So do I.)  She has been picking them up from school, helping out in their classrooms, reading stories, doing crafts, and cleaning out their dressers.  I wish I could keep her here forever, but Grandad wants her back now.

Asking.  What are you reading this week?

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Four Fun

Dearest, sweetest, cuddliest, cutest, munchkinest, puppiest prince,

You are FOUR!  How is that possible?  How have you been here on this planet, making it a sweeter place, for four entire years?  I could have sworn the nurses were just laying six pounds, nine ounces of you in my arms for the first time, but here you are three feet tall and brimming over with joie de vivre, and I really don’t know where the time has gone.

You are SO looking forward to your birthday party at Pump It Up! this weekend.  You’ve been dreaming of this day for months, even before you’d been there yourself.  We walked into a birthday party at the very swank Army Navy Club a couple of months ago, and you looked around at the grand staircase and chirped hopefully, “I think this is Pump It Up!”  It wasn’t, but you got to go the next day (accompanying your sister to a birthday party for one of her friends) and soon you’ll get to sit in the inflatable throne yourself, and I know you’re going to be just gleeful about it.  I can’t wait to watch.

Really, you’re such a fun guy.  You’re getting quite the sense of humor, and you love to tell jokes.  Most of them fall flat, but hey – you’re four.  You always get a laugh out of “Knock, knock!  (Who’s there?)  Fix!  (Fix who?)  Fix the doorbell, it’s broken!”  So that’s your go-to.  But you’re always looking for the next hit.  (Recently: “How do you pick up a house?  WITH ANOTHER PERSON BECAUSE IT’S HEAVY!”  I couldn’t argue with your logic.)

For all I have tried not to press gender norms on you, you are 100% boy.  You love trucks – fire engines, still, and construction vehicles – and boats, climbing on everything, pushing your sister’s buttons, riding your bike, and being attached to my side every moment of the day.  You are a gigantic mama’s boy, and I LOVE it.

You’re sports crazy, and you love working off your puppy energy by kicking a soccer ball all around the field near our house.  You’ve also gotten very interested in football, and Daddy finally has a buddy to watch his beloved Bills with.  You have to wear your Bills jersey almost every weekend, so I guess that’s it.  The next battlefield will be baseball, and this is important: do not listen to Daddy.  This is a Nationals household.

Another love: your sister.  You two fight like cats and dogs, but when you turn on the sweetness, you can really melt hearts.  Lately, she’s been trying to get you to call her “Mama.”  I do not appreciate this.

(See what I mean about the Bills jersey?  We can’t get it off you.)

You’re still a Darth Vader kind of guy, although you’ve expanded your fandoms to include Ghostbusters, thanks to your best buddy, who loves Peter Venkman as much as you love Anakin Skywalker.  Daddy has enjoyed introducing you to the classic Ghostbusters movie and to The Real Ghostbusters cartoon, but we have been less excited about all the nights you’ve spent in our bed due to scary dreams.  You’re probably sleeping with us five nights out of seven these days.  We’re all a little tired, but it won’t last forever, and I for one will miss the snuggles when you’re back in your own bed full-time.  Another recent fandom: the Marvel universe, and Spider-Man in particular.  I think it’s pretty cool that you’re getting into comics, although the last thing we needed was for you to imagine radioactive spiders in your room at midnight.

Here’s another of your recent obsessions: air hockey.  (Thanks, Grandad.)  You cheat on every point and you change the rules whenever you’re losing despite your cheating.  Yet somehow it’s still really fun to play with you.

You’re a total library kid.  We’re at our local branch every weekend without fail – you and me, at least.  Sometimes your sister joins us, but more often, it’s just the two of us.  You love to pull all the stuffed animals (you call them “lovies”) out and scatter them all over the floor, and you insist on checking out at least fifteen books every week.  I hope you grow up to be as big of a bookworm as your sister is.

(These are your “happy feet pajamas,” because you “dance so well in them.”  I can’t explain.)

I think we disagree on one fundamental point.  You see, you think you’re all grown up, and I think you’re still a baby.  When I see you running and jumping and climbing, racing down the hall at school into your classroom, or watching Jurassic World without batting an eye even during the scariest parts, I have to concede that you do have a point… maybe.  But then you fall asleep like this…

…or like this.  And you are SUCH a baby that my heart just explodes.  You’re my gift, my delight, and my heart’s joy.  You have taught me new ways of loving and looking at the world.  Every day I am grateful for the opportunity to be your mom, and I try to be worthy of you.

Happy birthday, buddy.  Thanks for being my boy.

Love,

Mama

 

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The Winter List 2019: Recap

After a banner fall of checking every single item off my seasonal to-do list, winter was decidedly less successful.  It was a busy season at work, which I don’t mind – I’d rather bank the hours now and have a cushion so I can take some time away from my desk in the summer months – but that led to more general tiredness, lack of motivation to go out and do all the things on the weekend, and less time for family fun.

  • Take a snowy (hopefully) weekend getaway to the mountains.  Didn’t happen.
  • Bake an olive oil citrus cake.  I put this on the list every year – this year, it’s happening!  Narrator: it didn’t.
  • Take Peanut to her first movie in the theater.  There was nothing appealing.
  • Make progress on cleaning out the basement.  Out of desperation, I’m calling this one partially done.  I did get through some purging in the basement and elsewhere in the house, and sent several items off to new homes through my Buy Nothing community, but I didn’t get as far as I’d hoped and I still have a very long way to go.
  • Take the kids to play at Badlands.  Nope.
  • Read some Dickens.  Nope.  I had Great Expectations in mind and that does seem like a good one for curling up on a snowy day, with a cup of tea and a roaring fire.  A few problems, though: (1) my fireplace is blocked by Steve’s gigantic TV; (2) snowy days are not relaxing anymore, thanks to two kids who are invariably home from school and climbing the walls; and (3) my library stack didn’t allow for much reading off my own shelves this season.
  • See Huckleberry Finn’s Big River at the Adventure Theatre.  We did this!  I gave the tickets to Steve as a Christmas gift, and it was a lot of fun.  Mark Twain is his favorite author, and he loved the show.  Peanut is getting to be an old hand at the theatre and she was enchanted with the performance.  Nugget’s experience was a little less ideal.  It was his first live theatre performance and he enjoyed most of it, but as we crept up on the sixty minute mark he ran out of patience, and I had to carry him screaming out of the theatre.  Apologies to the cast and the other theatre-goers… he’ll get there.
  • Go ice skating on the Empire State Plaza in Albany.  Oof.  We didn’t have time during our trip up north for the holidays, so I decided to change this goal to “go ice skating at the National Gallery ice rink.”  But then there was the government shutdown, and that ice rink was shuttered for over a month.  Then I changed the goal to “go ice skating at least once, somewhere” and that hasn’t happened either.  Which is a real bummer.
  • Take Peanut to see Angelina Ballerina: The Musical in Gaithersburg.  Done!  This was a lot of fun.  We had lunch in an Italian restaurant and then saw the show together in late January.  Peanut is finally getting to the point where she’s a lot of fun to hang out with.  We really enjoyed ourselves.
  • Complete a “vegan for 100 days” challenge.  Hmmmm – half done.  I was going strong for awhile, but I started making exceptions – first for good reasons, like fondue night at our friends Stephen and Nancy’s house, and then for less good reasons, and eventually I fizzled out.

So – not exactly a successful season, at least not by this measure.  But we’ve had fun family walks, read some good books, and baked a lot of bread, so I can’t say I’m unhappy with the way this winter has gone.  I could have done with fewer snow days and school delays, but what can you do?  It’s winter.

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It’s Nugget’s Birthday! What Are You Reading? (March 11, 2019)

Happy fourth birthday, little Nugget!  You guys, I can’t believe he is four years old.  Where does the time go?  For Nugget’s birthday weekend, he requested to “go to Mount Vernon dressed as Alexander Hamilton,” so that’s what we did.  Old friends may remember when Nugget and Peanut dressed as Alexander and Eliza Hamilton two Halloweens ago – sadly, we no longer have Peanut’s costume, but we still had Nugget’s and it still fit, thanks to the magic of elastic waistbands.  He got a lot of attention at Mount Vernon, as you may imagine.  After we had seen the cows and sheep and checked out the museum, we headed home for lunch and then Nugget and I hit the library – and we hit it hard.  We currently have thirty-seven books checked out (eighteen of them are mine).  Our favorite children’s librarian is always thrilled when she sees us walk through the door, because we’re so good for circulation.  Sunday wasn’t quite as birthday-rific.  It was still a nice day, but Nugget and I had to hit the grocery store in the morning, and then we had another birthday party to attend in the afternoon.  (Nugget’s party will be this coming weekend – we wanted to have it yesterday, but a little girl in Nugget’s class got her invites out first and caused scrambling on our part.)  Nugget did get to celebrate a bit more when we got home – opened some of his presents (he’ll get the rest today) and then we walked out to our favorite pizza joint, rode the DASH bus home, and gave him a bath with a mountain of bubbles.  A pretty good way to end your birthday weekend, don’t you think?

Reading.  It was a lovely reading week last week.  Early in the week I finished Edith Wharton’s Old New York, which had been sitting on my TBR for some time – and reviewed it here.  Next I turned to The Joy of the Snow, Elizabeth Goudge’s charming memoir, but set it aside for a day or so over the weekend when the new issue of Slightly Foxed arrived – and I regret nothing, because it was a really good issue; the perfect combination of books I’ve already read, books I haven’t read but had been wanting to read, and books I’d never heard of but now need in my library.  I went back to Elizabeth after finishing the new Foxed, and at press time I have about 35 pages left to go, so I anticipate finishing today during my commute.  I’m not sure what I’ll grab next – something off my towering library stack, I’m sure.

Watching.  The best thing I watched this week was my sweet boy running around Mount Vernon dressed as a founding father.  You don’t see that every day!  The other visitors were delighted with him and he got a lot of squeals and “SOOOOOO CUTE!”s as he ran from the cow pasture to the sheep paddock and back again.

Listening.  Lots of podcasts, as usual.  A great episode on “going crunchy in the kitchen” from The Crunchy Cocktail Hour – that was probably the highlight.

Making.  I didn’t make anything this weekend, other than an even taller stack of books from the library.  When will I ever learn, you guys?

Blogging.  I’ll be revisiting my winter to-do list and checking in on how I did on Wednesday, and Friday’s going to be a tribute to my favorite four-year-old.  Check in with me then!

Loving.  On my baby’s birthday, I am loving being his mom – how could anything else top that joy?  He’s really such a fun, smart, cuddly little guy and I am constantly delighted by him.  I say it all the time, but I really don’t know how the world survived without him.

Asking.  What are you reading this week?

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Old New York, by Edith Wharton

Old New York is a collection of four novellas, each telling a story of a different decade in New York society.  In False Dawn, Wharton explores the stormy relationship between a son and his domineering father, and the bittersweet consequences when the son attempts to stretch his wings.  The Old Maid portrays two cousins who share a heartbreaking secret, and The Spark is a portrait of a wealthy banker who is both admired and ridiculed.  New Year’s Day, the final novella in the collection, was – I thought – the best of the set.  It tells the story of a married woman who is engaged in an affair, and how her efforts to keep the affair secret after she and her lover are spotted fleeing a hotel fire – but there is a surprising twist I won’t tell you about, because I don’t want to spoil this wonderful book.

Wharton classes each of the novellas as a story of a different decade – the 1840s, 1850s, 1860s and 1870s.  By virtue of this march through time, certain characters and families reappear – Sillerton Jackson, for instance, is a minor character who first appears in The Old Maid (1850s) as a potential suitor to one of the three principal characters.  By New Year’s Day (1870s) he is a venerable and inscrutable old gentleman who spies the main character, Mrs. Hazeldean, in her guilty escape from the burning Fifth Avenue Hotel.  There are recurring references to the same old New York families in both False Dawn and The Old Maid, as well.

As I often do when reading a collection that is comprised of multiple stories, I had a range of reactions.  I didn’t really get the point of The Spark, the 1860s contribution.  The summary promised a tale of a young man whose moral retribution is “sparked” by a chance encounter with Walt Whitman, but that didn’t really happen.  One of the characters does encounter Whitman in an Army hospital during the Civil War, but it’s not a centerpiece of the narrative; most of the action takes place in the 1890s (confusingly, since The Spark is supposed to be a story of the 1860s) and centers upon the wealthy banker, Hayley Delane, taking in his ailing father-in-law.  There didn’t seem to be much of a plot and the characters didn’t engage me; The Spark was the shortest of the four novellas and the least developed.

False Dawn and The Old Maid presented more of a contrast and showcased Wharton’s masterful writing.  False Dawn was particularly evocative in its description of the Raycie family’s grand Long Island estate – I could see the house lights glittering on the Sound and feel the summer heat.  And The Old Maid presented a beautiful, bittersweet portrayal of two women’s desperate bargain in order to avoid scandal.

But New Year’s Day was the crown of the collection.  The novella opens with a young man being chastised by his mother for speaking the name of Lizzie Hazeldean in front of his impressionable sisters.  Because Lizzie Hazeldean was bad – she met men in the Fifth Avenue Hotel – or so the narrator’s mother claims.  The action then quickly jumps to a winter’s day on Fifth Avenue in the 1870s.  The Fifth Avenue Hotel is ablaze, and it seems that half of New York society is comfortably watching the conflagration from behind the draperies of a grand house across the street.  Out of the burning hotel, nearly but not quite lost in the crowds, run Lizzie Hazeldean and Henry Prest, and New York society is scandalized.  Over the course of the day, Mrs. Hazeldean agonizes over whether her acquaintances recognized her in the press of people and whether her invalid husband, who had dashed out to see the fire engines, had spotted her.  There is a twist, which I won’t reveal, but it takes the novella from a breathless tale of scandal, wonderful on its own, into truly poignant and tragic territory.  I loved it.

Old New York, by Edith Wharton, available here (not an affiliate link).

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On Decluttering of the Digital Sort

Over the past couple of years, I have spent a lot of time thinking about decluttering my physical space – purging unused possessions, cleaning out the basement, and somehow (through a combination of diplomacy and cloak-and-dagger operations) paring down the kids’ outrageous toy collections.  I’ve thought about those things a lot, and done them a little.  (My Buy Nothing community on Facebook has helped, but I still have a long way to go.)  But what I haven’t thought much about, even as I have fretted about the effect of screens on my life and worried about unknown consequences of being surrounded by Wi-Fi signals all the time, is the idea of digital minimalism.

As a rule, I think I probably spend less time on screens than most people do.  Since I look at a computer screen all day for work, I try to limit the amount of time I spend looking at a screen when I’m not at work.  I don’t watch much television, and the only time I spend on the computer outside of the office, most weeks, is writing this blog.  And I am necessarily curtailed in how much time I spend on my phone, because if I look at it too long, I get debilitating headaches.  So I keep my phone use to a few select functions and try not to scroll mindlessly.  But lately, even this limited phone use has come to feel like too much.

In connection with my word of the year – element – I have been considering how to weed the overly complicated from my life and get back to what is simple, and phone use definitely falls within the “overcomplicated.”  But I hadn’t thought about the digital noise and distraction as clutter until I listened to Episode 184 of Sorta Awesome: How to find freedom from our screens.  (Fittingly, I listened to it in the car, while driving, so was not at all tempted to scroll through Facebook while the show played.)

In the episode, Meg and Kelly discussed a host of fascinating topics: charting the evolution of their own online lives, talking about the complications of being the only generation who remembers life before the internet but has adopted the online life fully (our parents are not in the digital universe in the all-absorbing way that we are, and our children don’t know a different way of life), discussing iPhone’s new screen time feature, and talking about their goals for digital decluttering.  I found the whole episode utterly fascinating, shouted “PREACH!” at the car radio about a dozen times, and placed a hold on the book they recommended – Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport – at the library.  (It seems I’m not the only one who is interested in these topics.  I’m fifteenth in line for the book in the holds queue, and the library only has one copy, so it will be awhile before I get to read it.)

Meg and Kelly also cemented my own plans to bring more intentionality to my online life.  Since iPhone rolled out the screen time monitor, I’ve been tracking my phone use (somewhat) regularly and, because I am a goals-oriented type, taking great satisfaction in seeing the numbers creep down as I pay more attention to what I am doing.

According to the screen time monitor, last week I spent an average of two hours and two minutes per day in using my phone.  (I suspect that number is skewed by the fact that I captured the data at 5:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning, when I had spent a grand total of 43 seconds on the phone checking work email and taking two screen shots.  But let’s go with it.  In any event, it’s still more than I would like.)

Here’s what I was doing during those two hours and two minutes per day.  (App use has been on my mind a lot lately, as I have consciously cut way down on Twitter, about which more in a minute.)  By far, my most used app is Instagram.  This doesn’t surprise me, as Instagram is the only social media app that I actually enjoy and that I use for pure pleasure.  Facebook followed Instagram, which did surprise me a bit, because I don’t think I’m on there very much.  After that – mail, which I mostly use for making sure I’m not missing anything important when out of the office.  Other honorable (or dishonorable?) mentions went to the kindle app (which I rarely use, but did actually read a long-form short story on last week); safari (mostly for reading articles); and feedly (my blog reader).  Since I usually have the screen turned off and the phone in my bag when I listen to podcasts, and I know I spent more than an hour listening last week, I suspect the time reflected above was in scrolling my downloaded episodes while deciding what to listen to next and deleting the episodes that don’t interest me.

As a part of this general pondering, I have been giving thought to what I consider the big three apps in the social media world – Facebook, Instagram and Twitter – why I use them, and how I want that use to change.

Twitter: I have all but eliminated my Twitter use.  I was really only using the app to keep in touch with a couple of friends who are heavy Twitter users and to get the news (from reputable sources only, thank you).  But I’ve come to realize that Twitter was making my life worse, not better.  It’s tempting to scroll mindlessly through, and most of the time, I close the app feeling considerably less happy and less optimistic than I was when I opened it.  So I decided to wean myself off of Twitter (and it’s working – as you can see, it’s not one of my heavily used apps on the above list).  I moved the app to the last screen on my phone, so I have to consciously and intentionally navigate to it.  The next step will be letting the few friends I communicate with on Twitter known that they will need to text me instead, and then deleting the app.  That’s in the near future.

Facebook: Much as I would like to give Facebook the Twitter treatment, I can’t get rid of it as easily.  I use it for a few different reasons – mainly to keep in touch with friends and family who use Facebook as their primary social media and to participate in my Buy Nothing neighborhood gifting community.  (Ironically, my digital decluttering efforts are hampered by my physical decluttering efforts.)

Instagram: This is the one social media feed I keep because I actually enjoy it.  The opposite of Twitter, I usually close out of the Instagram app feeling happy and refreshed.  That’s a function of my carefully curated feed, probably.  My Instagram feed is about one-third nature photos, one-third bookstagram, and one-third pictures of my friends’ adorable kids.  (With a couple of food accounts, like Martha Stewart and Sourdough Schoolhouse, sprinkled in for cooking inspiration.)  I know that Instagram has had its problems with bullying and with people feeling inadequate because of unrealistic content, but I haven’t experienced that.  My feed has been a completely positive and relaxing place, and it probably helps that I use Instagram entirely for me, because I like the square pictures and the familiar filters.  My account is private, I don’t care if anyone follows me or not (although I am gratified when friends “like” my photos, so please don’t stop!) and I use the photos in my home decoration and family yearbooks because I think they look good.  I have shifted much more of my digital life and my social media activity to Instagram and I am happier for it.

I’ll have more to say about physical and digital decluttering soon, I expect, so I’ll end with this: I know I’m never going to be able to divorce myself from screens.  I use them all day at work, and the phone is just part of life.  But my happiest moments don’t include it.  Real joy comes from crunching through leaves or smelling fresh soil and flowers on the hiking trails with my family, from the satisfying work of kneading a loaf of sourdough in my kitchen, and from golden afternoon light at the library as I sit with a book while my little buddy plays in the children’s room.  My phone should be enhancing those joys, or it’s not worth having.

Are you trying to cut down on your screen time?

by

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? (March 4, 2019)

This weekend, I told Steve that all week long, I look forward to weekends (not because my job is unpleasant – it isn’t – but because I crave that time of my own, to let my brain breathe and be with my family) and by Sunday night, all I want is the workweek.  The kids were just grinding. me. down. this weekend.  Nothing major, just lots of little things – not listening, refusing to cooperate, backtalk, bickering.  I’m ready for my quiet office and a to-do list that I can understand.  That’s not to say we had a bad weekend, because we didn’t, really.  Steve had to work again, so I ran interference for him.  On Saturday, I took Nugget for a haircut and then we walked out to the library – and straight into the staging area for the town St. Patrick’s Day parade.  I know what you’re thinking: isn’t St. Patrick’s Day like two weeks away?  Yes.  Yes, it is.  But that’s just how we roll in NoVA, and if you don’t know, now you know.  On Sunday, Steve was craving some fresh air, so we walked out to the playgrounds as a family.  My mini bookworm plunked herself down with her reading material and ignored the rest of the family – even during the family soccer game.  She was my co-goalie and she was beyond useless; didn’t make a single save, just sat inside the goal and read – I was so proud.  The rest of Sunday was low-key.  Peanut played in her room, Nugget kept me company while I folded laundry and organized the kids’ Christmas presents, and I don’t actually know what Steve did.  And now another week is upon us, and I’m sort of glad to get back into the swing of things.  My clients don’t always listen to me, either, but at least they don’t call me a “dummypants.”

Reading.  It was kind of a slow reading week, because it was a hectic work week.  I have a few weeks in a row of grinding from sunrise to sunset, and those are never good for page totals.  But when I did manage to read, I enjoyed myself immensely.  Early in the week, I finished The Shepherd’s Life, and it was wonderful.  I also squeezed in The Girl Who Ruled Fairyland – For a Little While, which is really a long-form short story, and it was also wonderful.  The latter half of the week, and all of the weekend, was given over to Last Hope Island: Britain, Occupied Europe, and the Brotherhood that Turned the Tide of War.  It’s fascinating and I am learning a ton.

Watching.  I know you will all find this hard to believe, but I watched a movie this week!  Or most of a movie.  Steve downloaded Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and we had a little family movie night on Sunday.  I missed the very beginning, so was kind of lost for a lot of it, but… I really enjoyed it.  Spider-Man is not my superhero of choice (I’m more of a Ms. Marvel girl if we’re talking Marvel Universe, but my heart really belongs to Wonder Woman) but Spider-Verse was a lot of fun, and made me want to check out the Spider-Gwen comics.

Listening.  ALL the podcasts!  Lots and lots of ’em, because I had a drive out to a client site an hour away on Tuesday, and an epic laundry-folding session on Sunday, in addition to the usual dipping in and out during commutes.  The highlight belonged to Sorta Awesome this week, as it often does – read on.

Making.  I intended to bake bread and make beefless barley soup, but neither happened.  What I did make was progress in cleaning out the bedroom and the ongoing clutter purge, and a new set of return address labels (it’s the little things in life, right?).

Blogging.  It’s going to be another crazy week, so again no promises, but my hope is to have a post about screen time (for Mom) on Wednesday and something bookish on Friday – either a book review or some other readerly rambling.  Check in with me then, and don’t hold me to it – as soon as things settle down at work, I’m going to get my content calendar back under control.

Loving.  I have a podcast episode for you this week!  If you haven’t already listened to it, go check out the Sorta Awesome episode on “freeing yourself from screens,” in which Meg and Kelly discuss their personal screen habits, their goals, and striving toward “digital minimalism.”  I listened in the car on the way back from my client visit on Tuesday.  I LOVED it and shouted “PREACH!” at my blutooth player every two minutes.  I’ve been trying to cut way down on my own screen time, and I just felt like it was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time.

Asking.  What are you reading this week?