Grateful, 2020 Edition

Happy Friday, friends! And to my American readers – Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday and enjoyed some delicious food, some time with family (whether in person with your bubble or over Zoom or FaceTime) and have a relaxing weekend ahead. We stayed home in Virginia; while we would have loved to visit my parents, my dad is recovering from rotator cuff surgery and it didn’t seem wise to subject him to two kids who occasionally forget themselves and jump on people. There was some talk of Steve’s mom coming up from Florida to spend the holiday with us, but that didn’t work out either. So it was just us, bubbling together, but we made it a nice day and, weather permitting, we’ll get out for some of our customary Thanksgiving weekend hiking over the next few days.

Often around Thanksgiving, I look back at the year that is almost ended and consider my blessings. Some years, that’s easier than other years. I have had some Thanksgivings where I was just where I wanted to be – no complaints at all! – and others where I was struggling to find the good. 2020 being what it is, this is going to be a hard year to cultivate gratitude – I think that’s true for most of us. But I am trying to flex that gratitude muscle and remind myself of my many blessings, even in 2020. Such as:

  • My health, and my family’s health. Our little bubble has made it this far without getting COVID-19 (that we know of), and so have my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and Steve’s mom. We have been careful, but we are also very lucky.
  • Our home. As much as I complain about the band-aid colored walls, dated lighting fixtures, and nearly-exploding appliances, we have a roof over our head in a top-notch public school system. Speaking of which…
  • The kids’ school. We have had a roller coaster ride over the past few years and it feels like such a relief to be in a good public school district. So far, kindergarten and second grade seem to be going well, but even if things take a turn, at least we’re not paying through the nose for it.
  • Related: virtual school. While it breaks my heart every day to see Nugget pop off of the dining room chair and stand next to the table to recite the Pledge of Allegiance over his headphones, we are blessed to be able to keep the kids home and safe this year. (But please, Goddess, they need to go back next year.)
  • Remote work. While I have my up days and down days when it comes to productivity (not to mention just how I am feeling about working from home every day) I am lucky to have a job that allows me the flexibility of working at my dining room table. In talking with several lawyer friends during this time, I have said over and over that the pandemic has shown people as they truly are, and it turns out that my colleagues are kind, supportive people who have my back. I had to make a few job moves to get to this place, so I’m not taking that for granted.
  • Food on the table. From Thanksgiving dinner to my weekly elaborate Sunday night family meals to simple thrown-together breakfasts. I always say this, but I feel it especially keenly this year when I encountered empty store shelves for the first time in my life. Having pasta and sauce in the pantry, flour in the freezer, and veg in the crisper – not to mention toilet paper and hand soap in the bathrooms; I know those aren’t food – has never felt more precarious than it does this year, and I am glad for a pantry stocked against future lockdowns.
  • Anticipation for the future. It feels like I should knock wood, but Steve and I have made plans to take a dream trip together in 2022. (Hopefully Americans will be welcome in other countries by then…) We found a trip that allows risk-free booking (i.e. will permit us to cancel and rebook for a future trip if COVID-19 messes with our plans through 2022) and we put a substantial deposit down – seeing as we didn’t spend any money on a vacation in 2020. This won’t be our next trip; it’s more than a year away. But it’s something to anticipate, even if that feels a bit dangerous right now, and that’s huge. When we booked the trip, Steve and I looked at each other and at the same time (slight wording variations) both blurted out how happy we were to have something to look forward to again.
  • Little things like candles, tea in handmade mugs, Dogfish Head SeaQuench ale, issues of Adirondack Life, Balega and Smartwool socks – all those tiny comforts that make life just a little more enjoyable on a daily basis.
  • My running shoes, and all the routes I’ve pounded out in my new neighborhood and on the local rail trail. Sometimes it feels indulgent to tie on my Brooks, shut the door against whatever chaos is going on in the house, and just run. But it’s one of the things that I have committed to doing for myself this year, and it makes me so happy.
  • Tea. Always. Also LaCroix.
  • My kickass new camera – the best birthday present ever, THANK YOU STEVE! – which has allowed me to capture bird and wildlife photos I wouldn’t have dreamed possible. I love photography, and my new camera is bringing me so much joy.
  • Books! Of course! My subscription to Slightly Foxed, and those beautifully crafted little clothbound hardcover Slightly Foxed Editions. Gorgeous Folio Society hardbacks. Fun paperbacks from British Library Crime Classics and Persephone Books. A whole bookshelf full of these delights to wade through of an evening – by candlelight, see above.
  • Daily visits from my avian friends – multiple species of woodpecker; Carolina wrens and chickadees; tufted titmice; white-breasted nuthatches; goldfinches and house finches; cardinals and blue jays that pop by my feeders multiple times a day (I can barely keep them in birdseed!). I like to hide behind my car with my camera and paparazzi them.

I know it’s 2020, but what are you grateful for?

The Classics Club Challenge: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, by Anne Bronte

Recently, I was listening to a Great Courses audiobook, “The Art of Reading.”  The lecturer, Professor Timothy Spurgin, shared the common insight that there are really only two main plots, which are recycled and repeated ad nauseum.  They are: “stranger comes to town” and “hero takes a journey.”  Since I listened to that lecture, I’ve amused myself by assigning each book I read to one category or another.  Sometimes it’s more difficult to figure out where a book belongs, but in the case of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, it’s clear as a bell – this is a classic “stranger comes to town” narrative.

The book opens as a letter from one Gilbert Markham to his brother-in-law (who never appears in the story).  Markham is putting pen to paper to tell a story that the brother-in-law must have asked about regularly: the appearance of a mysterious woman, calling herself Helen Graham, lodging in a few rooms of the crumbling Wildfell Hall with her little son and one old servant – and everything that happens afterward.

Helen is an object of immediate fascination for Markham, his mother and sister, and all of the neighbors in their little hamlet.  Who is she, and what brought her to this desolate spot, and what possibly possessed her to want to live in an abandoned old mansion?  Helen clearly prefers to keep to herself, but anyone who has lived in a small town knows that’s the first cardinal sin – and indeed, the villagers will not rest until she’s been dragged into the community.  They bully her into attending a small gathering at the Markhams’ farmhouse, and there discover that she has some interesting ideas about child-rearing.

“I will lead him by the hand, Mr. Markham, till he has strength to go alone; and I will clear as many stones from his path as I can, and teach him to avoid the rest – or walk firmly over them, as you say; – for when I have done my utmost, in the way of clearance, there will still be plenty left to exercise all the agility, steadiness, and circumspection he will ever have.  It is all very well to talk about noble resistance, and trials of virtue, but for fifty – or five hundred men who have yielded to temptation, show me one that has had virtue to resist.  And why should I take it for granted that my son will be one in a thousand? and not rather prepare for the worst, and suppose he will be like his – like the rest of mankind, unless I take care to prevent it?”

“You are very complimentary to us all,” I observed.

Helen’s insistence on instilling temperance in her son from an early age is interpreted by Markham and the villagers as some sort of man-hating Victorian helicopter parenting, and the village’s curiosity about her quickly turns to animosity.  The more she keeps to herself, the more rumors begin to spread about her virtue (or lack thereof) – especially when some eagle-eyed gossip notes that Helen’s son Arthur bears more than a passing resemblance to the landlord of Wildfell Hall, the young squire Frederick Lawrence.  But as the village looks with greater suspicion on Helen, Markham is falling in love with her (with no encouragement, and rather ostentatiously) – at least until, spying in a hedge (gross), he observes Helen in what seems to be a compromising position with the very same squire, Mr. Lawrence.  Consumed with jealousy, Markham attacks Lawrence and confronts Helen, who presses her diary upon him as evidence of her good faith.  And it turns out (spoiler alert!) that Helen’s name is not Graham after all; she is living at Wildfell Hall under an assumed name, on the run from her cruel, drunken, abusive and cheating husband.  Helen’s journal details the entire progression of her doomed marriage, from when she first meets Arthur Huntington as a high-spirited debutante, to the moment she begins to lose faith in him and the downward spiral that follows.

October 5th.–My cup of sweets is not unmingled: it is dashed with a bitterness that I cannot hide from myself, disguise it as I will.  I may try to persuade myself that the sweetness overpowers it; I may call it a pleasant aromatic flavour; but say what I will, it is still there, and I cannot but taste it.  I cannot shut my eyes to Arthur’s faults; and the more I love him the more they trouble me.  His very heart, that I trusted so, is, I fear, less warm and generous than I thought it.  At least, he gave me a specimen of his character to-day, that seemed to merit a harder name than thoughtlessness.

Reading through Helen’s journal, which Markham faithfully transcribes into the letter to his brother-in-law, is like watching a train wreck happen in real time – Bronte’s intention, no doubt.  And while the journal answers many questions – Helen’s relationship to Frederick Lawrence; the circumstances of her flight to Wildfell Hall; the reason she supports herself as a painter – it raises still more.  Will she return to her horrendous marriage?  If so, will she go back willingly or by force?  If not, how will she get out of it – divorce being basically impossible at that time?  Will Markham’s faith in Helen be rewarded?  Will the villagers ever learn the real story, and if they do, will they ever believe it?  These questions are answered by the remainder of Markham’s letter to his sister’s husband.

I think the conventional wisdom on Anne Bronte is that she is the least known and least read of the sisters, but for those who have read all three Brontes, Anne is often the favorite.  That’s certainly how it is for me – while Jane Eyre will always have my heart, I think I value Anne’s works (which seem less melodramatic and more realistic, but gripping all the same) even more than those of Charlotte and Emily.  (I did not care for Wuthering Heights at all.)  The Tenant of Wildfell Hall is as feminist as Jane Eyre – perhaps even more so.  It’s far ahead of its time in advocating for women’s independence and right to leave an abusive marriage.  (Worth noting for purposes of trigger warnings: other than a time when Arthur Huntington throws a book at his dog and hits Helen instead, accidentally, he does not harm her physically.  Although I’d argue that an injury imposed accidentally in the process of trying to intentionally harm an animal is not better.  And there’s no question that he is an emotional abuser and that his conduct towards little Arthur is reprehensible as well.)  It is very clear what Anne Bronte thinks about the lack of options available to a woman like Helen; Tenant is outspoken in its indictment of Victorian laws and customs relating to matrimony.  Helen is fortunate to find (a few) allies who help her out of her desperate situation; poorer women may not even have that stroke of luck.

I loved The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, but as I read through Helen’s harrowing diary, I remembered why it took me so long to come back to it for a re-read after first picking it up more than fifteen years ago.  It’s a captivating, gripping book with an important message, but not the easiest read.  I’m sure I’ll come back to Tenant again, but I’ll need to let it settle for a couple of years.

Which Bronte sister is your favorite?

It’s Thanksgiving Week! What Are You Reading? (November 23, 2020)

Morning, friends. Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers – hope you’re planning a delicious feast with your bubble! I’m looking forward to a few days off work, although I have two very busy ones to get through first (and we’ll see if my good intentions to take Wednesday off actually pan out). I’m feeling a bit gloomy, because I had really hoped to celebrate this Thanksgiving in Colorado with my brother and that’s not happening, for obvious reasons.

Anyway – it was a low-key weekend around here. On Saturday, we took the kiddos to their swim lessons and then I spent most of the rest of the day working – nothing too exciting to report. Same with Sunday: quiet, quiet. I had a 2x5K to run for the final challenge of my virtual Another Mother Runner series, so I banged those out. The highlight was the last mile; after running 2.1 of the second 5K of the day I stopped by the house and picked up Nugget for his virtual Marine Corps Marathan “semper fun mile” kids’ race. The little dude ran several races – including a half marathon – when he was just a baking nugget, and a few more as part of the stroller brigade, but this was his first “race” run on two feet! He had the best time and is already talking about getting a medal display rack for all of the kids’ run medals he’s planning to earn. That’s my boy!

Reading. Good reading week! I’ve been putting my phone in the other room and logging my evening reading without the temptation to doomscroll; so far, it seems to be working. I finished Going Solo on Monday night (loved it!) and then was still in the mood for adventure travel reading, so I finally picked up The Grand Tour: Around the World with the Queen of Mystery, which has been on my TBR pile for too long. Finished the latter part of the week, and read through the weekend, with President Obama’s memoir (part one, there’s MORE coming!) A Promised Land. I’m a little over 500 pages in as of the publishing of this post, so I’ll probably finish in the next couple of days, and then I’ve promised myself Persuasion over Thanksgiving, before I turn to Christmas reading for December.

Watching. The usuals! The Great British Bake-Off on Friday night; The Mandalorian on Saturday night. For our family viewing, since we’ve finished our latest watch-through of Rock the Park, we’ve moved on to the recent seasons of Rick Steves’ Europe. Steve and I are card-carrying Rick Steves dorks. The kids are mostly tolerating it. Nugget has an adventurous spirit, so he’s enjoying watching and adding to his bucket list, but he tends to get bogged down in the more cultural parts. Peanut thinks we’re all ridiculous and refuses to watch with us. I guess she’s a teenager now?

Listening. I’m on a mission to pare down my podcatcher, so I’ve been working my way through back episodes for a few weeks now. A few episodes of The Mom Hour, a few episodes of Vegetarian Zen, and the highlight was a couple of recent episodes of Shedunnit. (I think Shedunnit might be my favorite podcast? Tough to say.)

Making. Uh, nothing but work product. I’m pretty overwhelmed right now – my workload is piling on and piling on, and we’re short-staffed, which doesn’t help. (We do have a new junior paralegal coming aboard, and we’re all very excited.) Cooking has been extremely limited, and baking non-existent, because we are still without a dishwasher. Our scorched, blown-out model is still sitting in the kitchen, wrapped in garbage bags, and we’re trying to minimize anything that requires us to wash lots of dishes. Thanksgiving will be a prepared foods feast, which makes me sad – because I enjoy cooking, and Thanksgiving is one of my favorite meals to prepare. But, hey, 2020.

Moving. I was a weekend warrior – those two 5Ks on Sunday, plus a walk to the frog pond in the neighborhood park. Hoping for a better week of movement ahead, but I have to get through my apocalyptic pile of work on Monday and Tuesday first.

Blogging. I’ve got a Classics Club review for you on Wednesday, and on Friday, I’ll share a post full of gratitude. Yes, even in 2020! Stay tuned.

Loving. A bit of a bittersweet one for you this week – I am absolutely loving every moment of A Promised Land. President Obama writes with such style, and his thoughtful, deliberative commentary on everything from his primary rivalry with Secretary Clinton to the competing considerations inherent in every policy he made during his time in office is a total joy to read. Except – it also makes me sad. Remember when we had a President who took the job seriously and could string more than three words together without a random capitalization or a new linguistic invention (looking at you, covfefe)? Who never flirted with inciting nuclear war over Twitter and didn’t try to stage a coup? Who staffed the West Wing with serious professionals, none of whom were related to him? Those were the days. Is it January 20, 2021 yet?

Asking. What are you reading this week?

Themed Reads: That Certain Autumn Something

Sometimes you run across a book that just feels like fall, know what I mean? Whether the action (all or part) takes place in autumn or not, there is just an undercurrent of crunchy leaves, bluebird skies, wood smoke and chill breezes. These are the kind of books that make me want to breathe deeply to take in those autumnal smells, then curl up beneath a cozy blanket, wrap my hands around a steaming cup of spiced tea, and read the afternoon away.

The Eagle of the Ninth, first book in Rosemary Sutcliff‘s classic Dolphin Ring Cycle about ancient Britain, has that fall feeling. Although the action follows hero Marcus Flavius Aquila throughout the seasons of the year, the pages themselves seem to be pervaded by the scent of smoke from Uncle Aquila’s fire, or the chilly breeze ruffling northern fields as Marcus sets out on his quest to recover the lost Eagle from his father’s old Roman Legion. It’s the type of book that pulls you into the story and holds you steadfast – perfect for reading on a cold night.

I’m not sure what it is about Persuasion that feels so perfectly for fall. Perhaps it’s because it is Jane Austen‘s final completed novel; that melancholy feeling of knowing that – although she was only 40 years old when she finished the novel, she was in the late autumn of her life. Or perhaps it’s the fact that the novel opens in fall and contains classic descriptions of the season – setting the tone for its deeper and slightly darker tone. In any event, it’s a relatively common experience to feel that pull toward Persuasion when the leaves begin to drop.

For those afternoons when you just want to curl up with something beautiful, but you don’t have the energy for a long classic, look to The Lost Spells, follow-up to Robert MacFarlane and Jackie Morris‘s gorgeous The Lost Words. Here you’ll find MacFarlane’s stunning poetry featuring British fauna (like the red fox and the goldfinch) accompanied by Morris’s mesmerizing art. Both the subject matter of the poems, and the deep navy, russet, and burnished gold (and more) colors of the art cry out to be read out in the brisk air.

What books call to you in the darkening days of fall?

High Wages, by Dorothy Whipple

I’ve been slowly working my way through Dorothy Whipple’s bibliography – first Greenbanks, then The Priory, and now High Wages.  Whipple is an author who deserves to be better known than she is, although word is spreading thanks to Persephone Books.  High Wages, Whipple’s first novel, is a bit different from her later works; the protagonist, Jane Carter, is a single “working girl” with career dreams rather than a middle-class young woman destined for marriage, like Christine of The Priory.  When the novel opens, Jane is wandering around the marketplace area of a small town outside Manchester, looking for a “place” that will allow her to escape her stepmother’s house.  But for all her prosaic goals, Jane has a poetic streak.

Jane lowered her beauty-dazed eyes to Tidsley market-place. Beneath that canopy, it was transfigured. The peaky roofs of shops and houses stood up darkly in the January air, the windows reflected a green-blue like the shell of a bird’s egg. The lamplighter was going round, and now behind him shone a string of jewels, emeralds pale and effulgent. There was almost no one about. It was a moment. Jane sometimes had these moments. She stood still in them.

Jane quickly finds her “place.”  As she walks through the marketplace on that early morning, she spots the proprietor of a garment shop hanging a “help wanted” notice in his window.  Jane promptly walks into the shop and talks her way into the job.  As a shop assistant, Jane discovers something of a calling – she is good at talking to the customers, even those who are much grander than she is, and she has an eye for pairing fabrics and embellishments that the ladies of Tidsley quickly come to appreciate.  But being a shopgirl isn’t all charm and fun.  Jane is always hungry; her boss’s wife never provides enough food.  And Jane comes face-to-face with her powerlessness when her employer cheats her out of a large commission she earned, which would have made an important difference to her quality-of-life.  Reflecting on the unfairness of her position, Jane asks the same questions that Mr. Barton, and the trade unionists, ask in Elizabeth Gaskell’s novels Mary Barton and North and South.

Why did some people – Sylvia Greenwood, for instance – have so much? Parents, money, a grand house, a grand car, grand clothes. It wasn’t fair. Not that she wanted all that. She wanted her due. She wanted that ninepence.

Why did some people have so much? And yet, compared with Lily, she herself must seem almost rich. Was it all like this? Did everyone look with envy at the one above? Funny. And funny, too, that the thought of someone else being worse off than you were yourself should make you feel more cheerful. Jane smiled grimly in the dark.

With this scene, I started noticing a lot of parallels between High Wages and Mary Barton in particular.  Both Jane Carter and Mary Barton are dress shop assistants.  Both dream of climbing to the middle class (although Mary Barton would prefer to marry her way to grandeur, while Jane Carter is happy to work her way up in trade, like many of the rich businessmen in the town did).  Both cast their eyes at a young man from the moneyed set – in Mary’s case, the despicable Harry Carson; in Jane’s, the kind but flawed Noel Yarde.  As I was reflecting on all the similarities between Mary Barton and High Wages, I came to this little Easter egg:  

‘There’s that Evelyn Wood and Mary Barton going past again. That’s the tenth time, about, this morning. Hope they’ll catch something soon. If you and me walked about the streets like that, Jane, they’d call us a couple of tarts. . .’

I KNEW IT!  It felt like a fun little wink from Whipple to her readers.

Mary Barton parallels aside: High Wages follows Jane as she works hard in the shop, befriends her fellow shop assistant – and then has a falling-out with her – suffers an embarrassment at a social event, and walks and reads through the weekends.  But life circumstances pile on – after an unwanted advance, and the unfortunate consequences thereof, conspire to drive Jane from her hard-won position.  A lucky break comes through just in time; Jane’s kindness to a customer pays off and she earns herself an investor and an opportunity to open her own shop – which she does in the face of her former employer’s insistence that she will fail.

Jane works hard – as the proprietress of her business, she does it all.  (This reminded me of a mentor I once had when I was first starting out in my career.  He and I visited a client who owned some restaurant franchises, and when we walked into one of the restaurants, the owner was behind the host’s stand.  My mentor leaned over and said quietly to me, “This is what you do when you own the business.  You do everything.”)  And Jane’s hard work pays off; at the end of her first year, her accountant delivers the news that the store has been profitable beyond Jane’s wildest expectations, yielding handsome returns for both herself and her investor.  Jane collapses in relief. 

But what a grinding year it had been! How she had worked, early and late, doing everything, cleaning windows, polishing fittings, dusting, sweeping, buying and cooking her own food, interviewing travelers, selling in the shop, stock-taking, having sales, sending out bills, sending them out again and again, insisting on payment, dealing hardily with troublesome customers, going to Manchester and again to London to keep up with the times – Phew! What a year! The struggle had matured her; she felt more capable, more confident, but older. She didn’t think that anyone, looking at her now, would say she was too young to manage a shop.

Jane’s success in business continues to build as she works harder than ever, but her luck in love and personal life is less lavish.  I won’t spoil the story, which is wonderful – if a touch melodramatic at times – suffice it to say, an ill-advised love affair threatens to destroy everything Jane has built, forcing her to examine what she values most in the life she has built, and whether she is truly prepared to throw away her independence for a man.

I enjoyed High Wages immensely.  As I said above, it’s definitely not a “typical” Whipple novel (judging by the two I’ve already read).  Whipple’s later works focus more on family dynamics; Jane is unusual in that she is a single “working girl” who places her career above aspirations of marriage.  Whipple’s later – more family-oriented – novels recall Austen more than any other influence; High Wages, by contrast, constantly nods to Gaskell.  And while I’m not sure any Whipple heroine will replace Christine in my heart, I can see myself cultivating a good solid friendship with Miss Carter, and revisiting High Wages again and again.

Have you read any Dorothy Whipple?

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? (November 16, 2020)

Mondayyyyyyyy. Again! Why do they keep coming around like this? Every seven days, like clockwork. Ugh.

I am so burnt out, you guys. I really need a vacation. Thanksgiving can’t come soon enough – just a few days (more than two) without worrying about work would be welcome. This weekend wasn’t as heavily scheduled as the last few have been, but I’m still exhausted. It started out badly – on Friday (the 13th, of course, and in 2020, so obviously disaster) I was sitting at my computer finishing up some work for the week, when I noticed an acrid, electrical smell in the air. Moments later, the house was full of smoke. Steve and I rushed around unplugging every appliance we could, and eventually isolated the problem to the dishwasher, which had shorted out and come very close to catching fire (and, alarmingly – pun intended – the smoke detectors never went off even though the entire house was full of smoke). It still smells. Anyway – everyone is fine, we’re eating takeout off of paper plates until a new dishwasher arrives (hopefully today), but it wasn’t an auspicious way to begin the weekend, especially after what felt like a hard week.

So, Saturday! We had nothing on the agenda other than the kids’ swim lessons, which we’re doing every weekend from Halloween to almost-Christmas. I spent the rest of the day powering through some cleaning and organizing: folded four baskets of laundry and finished unpacking Steve’s and my bedroom. (It had been neglected for weeks; I finally decided that instead of spending more time trying to clean and organize for my two sloppy ungrateful kids, I would create a serene space for myself. I should do this more often.) On Sunday, I intended to clean up and organize the dining room, but I ended up loafing around for most of the day, other than a couple of hours of hiking in Rock Creek Park with a law school friend and her family. And that’s it – I could really use another day. Just one more full week of work, then Thanksgiving week. Let’s go.

Reading. Good reading week! I finished The Tenant of Wildfell Hall – review coming next week – and then blazed through A Study in Scarlet, the first Sherlock Holmes novel. (I’ve read The Hound of the Baskervilles but have been wanting to go back and read the great detective’s origin story.) Ended the weekend curled up on the couch, snort-laughing at the descriptions of eccentric British expats headed for Africa in Roald Dahl’s memoir Going Solo.

Watching. Good watching, too! New episodes of The Great British Bake-Off and The Mandalorian, a few episodes of Continent 7 (we’re forcing the kids to re-watch it with us) and a few episodes of The Amazing Race (trying it out). Lots of dabbling in this and that.

Listening. Still working through my podcatcher. I am committed to getting through the old episodes I’ve been hoarding! A few episodes of both Sorta Awesome and The Mom Hour on invisible and emotional labor, self-care and self-comfort, were the highlights of the week.

Making. Basically nothing. I like to do my elaborate cooking – and a good amount of food prep – on the weekends, but without a working dishwasher I don’t have the energy. I did make a totally cleaned and unpacked bedroom, and I’m not sure what I am going to do now with all the mental space I had been devoting to hating my sleep space.

Moving. Not as much as I’d like, as usual – a few runs, a few neighborhood walks, and that Sunday hike. Better than nothing, but I need to prioritize my own need for movement a bit more this coming week. I feel so much better when I am outside, breathing fresh air and moving my feet.

Blogging. Bookish week coming atcha! On Wednesday I have a review of High Wages, which I drafted thinking it was on my Classics Club list and then realized that it’s actually not. Oh, well! Doesn’t mean I can’t spend ten paragraphs telling you how much I enjoyed it. Then on Friday, November’s themed reads. You know what I realized? The first themed reads post was November 2019. I can’t believe I’ve been writing those once a month for a year and haven’t run out of ideas yet! If anything, I think of more themes every day.

Loving. The Mandalorian! You guys. Why is it so good? Every week, when the latest episode drops, Steve and Nugget get all riled up and I get indulgent, and then end up just as enthralled as the boys. (Peanut pretends not to enjoy it, but I think she secretly does.) We jump out of our seats when Mando battles sand dragons or Imperial stormtroopers, and we laugh at Baby Yoda. Although every episode I wonder if Cara Dune will be returning to Team Mando – not yet. The people want more Cara Dune! And by “the people,” I mean me. This fall, every week has seemed harder than the last, and it’s been good to have something to look forward to every Friday.

Asking. What are you reading this week?

Tales from the Exurbs, Vol. III: Patent Pending

Y’all, the mosquitos here are no joke.  Why didn’t someone warn me that moving to the exurbs would mean shacking up with all sorts of wildlife of the biting and stinging kind?  The frog pond in our backyard is a major culprit (but maybe not for long; Steve just added a mosquito dunk, stay tuned) and I am just wondering if at some point they will go into hibernation for the winter?  No?

Fortunately, Nugget has a plan.  The other day, this conversation took place:

N: Mom, I think we need to start wearing bugspray to go to the bathroom.

Me: Oh, is there a bug in there?

N: A mosquito, what do you expect?

Me: Good point, I don’t know what I expect.  It’s the exurbs.

N: Can we get a mosquito net for the door that people can go right through but mosquitos can’t?

Me: That’s a good idea, buddy.  You should invent that.  We’ll patent it and you can make a million bazillion dollars.

N: Well, it’s only three dollars.  So can I have that?

Me: I don’t think I have that.

N: You don’t have three dollars?

Me: I have three dollars.  I don’t have that mosquito net.  You have to make it.

N: But I’m just a kid!

Get to work, buddy!  Side note: when I dreamed up this blog series I was expecting it to be broader in scope than just a chronicling of critter encounters in the neighborhood.  I promise I’ll think of something else exurby to write soon, but for now this abundance of wildlife is still a novelty.  Old Town wasn’t much for wildlife, unless you count house sparrows, European starlings, and people’s dogs.

Would you buy a mosquito net that people can walk right through but mosquitos can’t, if it was only three dollars?

Three Chocolate Day

(Image Source: I Love NY)

The summer after my freshman year of college, I interned for a New York State Senator from Brooklyn, New York.  A family friend helped me get the job – in the Senator’s Albany, New York legislative office (not the much bigger, busier district office in Brooklyn).  Our office in Albany was all women – the Senator herself, who split her time between Albany and New York City; Susie, the Chief of Staff; Kelly, the legislative aide; and me.

My responsibilities as the office intern were light, even by internship standards.  I spent most of my time making media packets for the Senator – which in the low-tech days of 2000 meant reading multiple newspapers, clipping articles that were relevant to either Brooklyn or one of the Senator’s policy interests, and then photocopying the articles onto 8×11 paper and stapling them into neat bundles.  When I wasn’t making media packets, I was on the Senate floor, sitting with the other Dem staffers on the benches that lined the walls, always poised to leap up and rush off to the Members’ lounge to summon my boss for votes.

That summer was twenty years ago now (hard to believe!) and most of my memories are fuzzy.  I remember one of the pages having a crush on Kelly; she was kind and patient, but it was never going to happen – she was married and expecting a baby.  (Related: I remember delighting with her in her pregnancy, and laughing with her and with Susie, at her weirdly specific cravings – Whopper Jr., anyone?)  I remember snacking on candy that one of the Democrat Senators used to pass out to the staffers on our bench during the long waits between votes.  I remember walking what must have been miles and miles – over the course of the summer – in the underground concourse.

And one thing that stuck with me long after I left the Senator’s office and went back to campus for my sophomore year: Three Chocolate Days.  The Chief of Staff used to keep a box of fancy chocolate truffles in the supply closet (because where else?) and we would drift over for an afternoon pick-me-up.  We had a sophisticated system for rating the days: One Chocolate (regular); Two Chocolate (a little stressful) and Three Chocolate (OMG get us out of here) Days.  If Kelly was overwhelmed with legislative tasks, or Susie was slammed with constituent issues, or I… had a newsprint papercut?… Susie would announce: “It’s a Three Chocolate Day.”  And the three of us would get up from our desks, make our way to the supply closet, and carefully count out three chocolates apiece.

There weren’t many Three Chocolate Days that summer – at least, not for me.  My memories of those days are hazy, but good.  Reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on breaks.  An elderly security guard outside the Senate Chamber who told me that I looked like Veronica Lake (I had to search online to find out who he was talking about; that summer I had long bangs that swept to one side and flopped into my eye – the guard called me “Veronica” all summer).  The excitement that only an eighteen-year-old political junkie can feel when she’s sitting on the Dem staffer bench as the Hate Crimes Act of 2000 is passed.  I don’t remember it ever raining, although it must have occasionally.

I was stressed out the other day.  (And every day, thanks ‘Rona.)  As I stood at the pantry, carefully counting out three chocolate-covered Chukar Cherries, summer 2000 came floating back into view – hazy and warm – with all the vague connections that were part of my days.  Susie and Kelly and the page who loved Kelly and Veronica Lake Security Guard and the staffers sitting shoulder to shoulder on the benches and the mysterious, mesmerizing Senators, and my mom idling in the car outside the Legislative Office Building as I ran down the steps every afternoon.

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? (November 9, 2020)

It’s Monday… and it’s morning in America! Y’all, the relief around here is palpable. Our house – and D.C. in general – has a festival atmosphere right now, at the news that sanity and reason are heading back to the White House, and that we will soon have our first female Vice President! (Anyone else think of that line from Gilmore Girls, when the incomparable Paris Geller tries to persuade Rory to run for student government: “Every little girl dreams of being Vice President.” – just me?) We were at the rec center pool for the kids’ swim lessons when the news finally hit. It was all I could do not to take a running leap into the deep end for sheer joy. The shock (we actually did it!) wore off and the news started to sink in that afternoon; we had some folks over – my friend Helena and her little guy, Nugget’s best bud from his old school – and we couldn’t stop talking about it. We roasted marshmallows and just let ourselves feel happy. It was glorious.

I didn’t go down to the raucous parties at Black Lives Matter Plaza – although I have several friends who did – but we did continue the celebration in D.C. on Sunday, at the National Zoo. I saw lots of Biden/Harris t-shirts and face masks! The stated purpose of the zoo trip was to reward Nugget for cooperating in cleaning out the playroom. But the real purpose was to use my birthday camera again. I got some epic pictures of the animals. Came home intending to spend the afternoon folding laundry, but instead spent it puttering around, baking focaccia, flipping through cookbooks and trying to convince my new phone to turn on (no joy, will have to take it back to the Verizon store today – maybe they can get it to work). Can’t believe it’s another workweek.

Reading. It was a bit of a slow reading week, because I was either glued to election coverage, or doomscrolling and staring anxiously into space, most evenings. But I finished High Wages early in the week and loved it; review coming next week. And over the weekend, I knocked off Mrs Moreau’s Warbler: How Birds Got Their Names on audio – read by the author – which was a total delight. Finally, a re-read: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, for The Classics Club. Hoping very much that I’ll be able to focus on a book again soon.

Watching. Lots of watching this week – mostly CNN election coverage. (Although, CNN: why Rick Santorum? Does he serve a purpose other than to cause the other commentators to make horrified faces?) Other than that: some Bake-Off, some Mandalorian, some Rock the Park (we’ve wrapped up our second watch-through of the series) and a tiny bit of Continent 7 (yes, again, we are Antarctica junkies around here). Steve got a new TV as an early birthday present – I know, I know, I thought it was ridiculous too, but it’s the only thing he wanted and I’ve been resisting it for over a year, and he promised me he’d make it last a minimum of ten years, and there’s a pandemic going on and he just needed a little joy. I think his suggestion that we re-watch Continent 7 was to convince me that I did the right thing by capitulating. (He claims the picture is much more awesome than our old TV. It looks the same to me, but I am glad he’s happy.)

Listening. Finished Mrs Moreau’s Warbler on audio, as noted above, then went back to podcasts – a couple of episodes of The Mom Hour and one episode of Another Mother Runner. I did a big podcatcher cleanout while sitting on the bleachers at the rec center on Saturday (waiting for Peanut to be done with her swim class) and deleted everything I don’t plan to listen to soon. Podcatcher’s still out of control, but slightly less so?

Moving. Not the best week for movement. I was stressed at work and over the election, and all week I kept promising myself a stress-relieving run and then not delivering. Poor form, self. I finally got out on Saturday morning – before swim lessons and our friend date; it was a busy day – and banged out 6.2 for the virtual Marine Corps 10K. It was not my best run. Legs felt dead and lungs were screaming the entire time – ugh. But I met two nice men on the trail – I think they were about my parents’ age? – when I stopped to stretch. One of them was wearing a Wineglass Marathon t-shirt and I mentioned that was my bucket list marathon; turned out they had both run Wineglass multiple times, were from upstate New York – Binghamton and Corning, respectively – and went to Cornell. Small world!

Making. I had a lot of fun in the kitchen, especially over the weekend. On Saturday, I took my first crack at golumpki, a traditional Polish stuffed cabbage dish that I remember my grandmother making for Sunday dinners (and serving in these very bowls). My vegetarian version wasn’t quite like Grandmother’s, but I think I caught the essence of the thing? On Sunday I made a pot of slow-simmered beans (served over steamed spinach) and rosemary focaccia, and felt a bit like a lady Nigel Slater.

Blogging. Thinking about politics so much lately brought back memories of a summer internship I had, so I’m sharing some of those on Wednesday. And on Friday, another installment in my exurb diaries. Check in with me then!

Loving. There can only be one thing for me this week! I am LOVING the news of our new POTUS-elect and VPOTUS-elect. There’s so much work to do (I had a literal nightmare about Mitch McConnell on Saturday night) but this weekend was for celebrating. I can’t decide the best part… I’ve admired Joe Biden for years now, since back before he was President Obama’s VP. And the idea of sanity, decency, science, reason, being back in the White House – those of us living in the “reality-based community” have been waiting too long. But I think the very best might be Madam Vice President-elect Harris! I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried during her victory speech on Saturday night. The suffragette white pantsuit! The shoutout to her mother! The promise that while she may be the first woman to occupy the office, she will not be the last! This is a moment for women everywhere. My heart was bursting.

Asking. What are you reading this week?

#VotedEarlyReadathon Tally

Doomscrolling! It’s real, right? Like – it seems – everyone else, I have fallen victim to the practice of scrolling Facebook and my Washington Post app (fortunately, I don’t have Twitter – I deleted it several years ago and haven’t looked back). Relaxing, this is not. And I’m in good company; I have lost count of the number of readers that have bemoaned the siren call of the phone in these stressful election days. Jessica Howard, a Shelf Awareness contributor and sometime book blogger that I have been following on social media for years, had a proposal to deal with the doomscrolling: a #VotedEarlyReadathon.

The basic idea: if you’ve already voted, instead of following the news about the candidates, polls, all of it – put the phone in another room and read a book. Seemed like good advice. And I got some good pages in.

First up was Poems Bewitched and Haunted, which was on my Halloween reading list (self-imposed, of course). A re-read (this was my third – or fourth? – time through the collection), so that seemed like a good place to start. Nice and comforting, no surprises.

Next was another re-read, and another Halloween favorite: Hallowe’en Party, by Agatha Christie. It’s not one of Christie’s most earth-shattering mysteries; it’s no Roger Ackroyd or Orient Express or even Murder at the Vicarage. But it’s fun, especially around Halloween. And knowing “whodunit” doesn’t spoil the book for me – I like to try to solve it myself the first time, but I’m happy to re-read a well-written mystery, and the Queen of Crime always delivers with sparkling dialogue and captivating settings.

Next, after finishing up with Poirot & co. on Halloween night, I grabbed the fall issue of Slightly Foxed – trying to stay on top of those. The winter issue should arrive next month, so now I’ll be ready for it when it comes.

Finished the readathon with another novel – Dorothy Whipple’s High Wages. It actually opens on a cold January day, but I felt like a story about a shopgirl in a dress boutique would be the perfect beginning to the holiday shopping season.

One stressful week, made less stressful by four good reads! I am always slow to start the week these days; Monday evenings I’m basically out of commission for books, because after I put the kids to bed that’s my day to drive down to Wegmans and pick up the week’s groceries (I’ve been doing curbside lately) – between the drive there and back, and then wiping everything down and putting it away, I don’t crash on the couch with my book until 9:30 at the earliest, and that’s almost my bedtime. So I was still clutching High Wages by the time I turned on CNN’s Election Night coverage. But you know what? Dorothy Whipple, with her detailed settings and descriptions and her fully realized characters, is the perfect antidote to 2020 political stress.

I’m glad that Jessica hosted this readathon! It definitely gave me the spark I needed to back away from the phone, stop the doomscrolling, and take care of my own mental health.

What have you been reading to take your mind off election stress?