I put The Silmarillion on my Classics Club list largely for completionist reasons – I have already read The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit (once each) and I own pretty editions of all the books – including this one – from The Folio Society. So it was partly in the spirit of reading books I already own, partly to finish up all of the principal works, and partly because I thought I might enjoy getting some more backstory, that I decided to give The Silmarillion a try.

The Silmarillion is the tale of the Elder Days of Middle-Earth and a war that raged for generations over a set of gems called The Silmarils. The war involves Elves, Men, Dwarfs, gods, and Sauron’s boss Morgoth as the big baddie (although to be perfectly honest, even most of the Elves don’t come off great). A Goodreads reviewer referred to The Silmarillion as being kind of like the Bible of LOTR and I think that’s right. It’s very like the Bible (or those few parts I’ve actually read, anyway…) complete with flowery language and lots of “begats.” About that flowery language, this is how it all begins:

There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Iluvatar; and he made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made. And he spoke to them, propounding to them themes of music; and they sang before him, and he was glad. But for a long while they sang only each alone, or but few together, while the rest hearkened; for each comprehended only that part of the mind of Iluvatar from which he came, and in the understanding of their brethren they grew but slowly. Yet ever as they listened they came to deeper understanding, and increased in unison and harmony.

Um. Okay? I probably understood some of that, maybe. (To paraphrase the great investigative journalist Philomena Cunk, when are they going to start translating Tolkein’s books into proper English? You know, from like, ancient English? By the way – if you’re not watching “Cunk on Earth” yet, do go watch the first episode. I’ll wait.)

Anyway, as you can tell – with apologies in advance for the blasphemy I’m about to commit – I didn’t like The Silmarillion much. I actually tried to read it several months ago and put it down after five pages; when I picked it up again recently it went much faster, but that was because I was mostly skimming. It was hard to follow – especially because I’m not really a LOTR fan, have only read the trilogy and The Hobbit once each, and had basically nothing invested in the Middle-Earth origin story. Well – not basically nothing. I had nothing invested. Nothing at all. Most of the characters were unfamiliar to me, the war over the Silmarils seemed ridiculous (everyone in multiple worlds, from Gods down to dwarfs, goes to war over some jewelry? Okay then…), and because of the overblown language I found the plot next to impossible to follow. A lot of Elves died, and I really didn’t care at all. I think the reader is supposed to be very upset about some of the deaths, but – shruggyface.

If you’re a big Lord of the Rings fan and you’ve not yet read The Silmarillion, I’m sure you’ll love it. If you’re not a fan and feel no connection to that world or the books – like me – you can skip this one without FOMO.

Have you read The Silmarillion? Please tell me how wrong I am.