I love writing all three parts of my annual reading retrospective, but the Book Superlatives post might be one of my favorite things to write all year.  It’s just so darn silly and fun.  What’s not to love about giving high school yearbook awards to the books I read each year?  There’s no reason for it – it’s just goofy and fun.  So here we go.

Brainiest.  You don’t go from complete ignorance to Cambridge Ph.D. without some serious intellectual firepower, and it’s clear Tara Westover has that in spades.  The obstacles Tara overcame on her path to becoming educated were really shocking to read about.

Best Looking.  It isn’t often I pull my book out of my bag ten times in a day and say “Look how gorgeous this cover is!” but I did that when I was reading Penelope Lively’s Life in the Garden.  I mean – look how gorgeous that cover is!

Best Friends.  April, Jo, Mal, Molly and Ripley (honorable mentions to Barney and counselor Jen) are shoo-ins for the “best friends” title.  I mean, the Lumberjanes’ motto is Friendship to the Max!  And they live it, they really do.

Class Clown.  Sellar and Yeatman are worthy predecessors to Philomena Cunk, and that should tell you everything you need to know.  Oh, and in case that doesn’t: they’re freaking hysterical, and 1066 and All That is the best completely inaccurate history I’ve ever read.  I wish the actual class clowns in my high school were this witty.

Biggest Jock.  Look, I love Walden as much as the next girl.  But real talk: Henry David Thoreau is That Guy who has no sympathy for you weaklings (just don’t mention that his mom still washes his underpants, because he will have to beat on you a little bit).

Teacher’s Pet.  This award usually feels like a pejorative, but I mean it in the best sense.  Because if you think of the teacher’s pet as being someone who really, really, really, REALLY cares about school – no one cares about school more than Malala does.  And she is an icon, and for very good reason.

Biggest Nerd.  You know what?  I like nerds.  I think we should all be so lucky to have something we love enough to geek out about it shamelessly.  For me, that would be Jane Austen and L.M. Montgomery.  For Helene Hanff, that’s her course of philosophy and the Western canon via her favorite used booksellers across the pond.  When it comes to unbridled enthusiasm, no one geeks out better than Hanff.

Most Creative.  It was a little ridiculous, but so many of the most creative experiments are, right?  When you get a baker’s dozen (or so) mystery writers drunk, weird stuff happens.  And sometimes the end result is The Floating Admiral, which didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but no one would accuse it of being boring.

Most Opinionated.  2018 was the new year of the woman (between #MeToo taking off, an already historic number of female U.S. Senators running for President even before Kamala and Amy have decided, and the awesome woman-powered 116th Congress) and who better to speak for the sisterhood than Adichie?

Most Likely to End Up in Hollywood.  Total cop-out, and I know we’ve already had a floppity jillion movies about the golden age of space exploration, but let’s be honest here.  How many movies about the golden age of space exploration is the right number of movies about the golden age of space exploration?  One more.

Biggest Rebel.  Winter Santiaga is the consummate rebel.  Do not double cross her, because she will double cross you more, and in higher heels.

Biggest Loner.  Poor Vera!  Summer camp isn’t for the timid.  My heart ached for her as she searched for friends and learned – painfully – that true friends like you for who you are and not for what you can do for them.  (Also, Vera, if you’d have come to Camp Little Notch, we would have made you feel very welcome.)

Cutest Couple.  Alif and Dina are the sweetest ever.  They’re unassuming and a little nerdy and that just makes you root for them harder.  Also, the scene in which Dina wraps her veil around Alif and he sees the star-spangled world she’s created within I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING.

Prom King.  How on earth did Decibel Jones get elected Prom King?  This was clearly a case of a write-in campaign going amazingly, hilariously wrong.  But look, you guys, you’re stuck with him now.  At least – hey, he can really rock a crown, although it’s not quite sparkly enough for him.

Prom Queen.  I’ll be honest, I picked Emmeline “Lucia” Lucas for Prom Queen mostly because the idea of Lucia dancing to The Way You Look Tonight with Decibel Jones tickled me so much that I couldn’t stop myself.  But also, if I had picked anyone else, Lucia would never have let me hear the end of it.

Most Likely to Succeed.  I almost named the most popular woman in America my Prom Queen for 2018, but see above – Lucia Lucas was too powerful.  And anyway, I thought Michelle fit better in this category, and that it would mean more to her.  This is one driven, talented, smart and hardworking woman, after all.

And there we have it!  I’m still laughing at the idea of Lucia and Dess as Prom King and Queen, while Mira Wonderful Star sulks in the corner with Elizabeth Mapp and valedictorian Tara Westover looks on disapprovingly.

Who would be your literary Prom Couple this year?