Well, here we are at the end of another year.  2017 has not been an easy one – not from the global perspective, and not from the personal perspective either, actually.  Much of the year has felt like a long uphill slog, and I’m not entirely sure when I’ll get to the payoff – such is life with small children and a demanding job.  But I’m doing my best – at work, in parenting, and as a family member, I’m doing my best.  As I look back over the year that is ending, that is what stands out.

Major Goals

Get with the program.  At the beginning of the year, I expressed the opinion that success in all of the things that I have to juggle would depend on getting and staying organized.  I wanted to devote some significant thought to routines and to creating for myself a personal program that would help me keep up with everything I have to do.  That didn’t really happen – or at least, not quite to the extent I’d hoped for.  I still feel like I’m surviving, instead of thriving.  Such is life with small children.  But I am trying.

Make room for me.  I’m happy to report that, while I thought I was failing at this goal back in July, I have done a better job with this in the latter half of the year.  I joined a yoga studio and have been going to classes there a few times per week, and I finally checked out barre3 as I’d been wanting to do.  I’ve also been making a point to read while the kids play, instead of mindlessly scrolling my phone – far better that they should see me with a book in my hand (and of course, I put the book down to read to them or play with them).  It’s still hard for me to carve out time for myself while the kids are awake, but I’m working on it.  The older and more independent they get, of course, the easier it will be.

Get my confidence back.  Hasn’t really happened.  I did get back to my running shoes and ran a few races this year – a couple of 5Ks, a five-miler and a 10K, not bad – did a couple of Whole30s and got into the group fitness scene.  But I’m still not where I want to be.  I’d like to be more toned, feel stronger, and just have more confidence than I do.  This will be a continued focus in 2018.

Trust in abundance.  I have made a point of working on this, this year, and I think it’s going well.  This goal has meant both small and big actions on my part.  On the small side, I have been working on using up what I have – cooking through our pantry and using up bath and body products – because I want more breathing space in my home, and those things will always be available to me.  And of course, I have been using my library and gifting through my buy-nothing group.  More metaphysically, I have been trying to trust in the abundance all around me – the abundance of family love, of resources, and of time – all of which seem scarce sometimes.  Some days, I am good at this, and some days, not so much.

Revive the 12 Months’ Hiking Project.  With our December hike on the books, I can call this one – DONE!  This is an easy goal to commit to, and an easy goal to achieve, because Steve and I both love hiking so much that it takes no motivation at all to get us on the trails.  In fact, if we go too long between hikes, we both start to get antsy and need some outdoors time.  The only thing about this goal that can be a challenge is finding new places to hike each month.  (And that’s why I was only able to do this one year in Buffalo – I ran out of trails!)  This year, we managed a good combination of hikes close to home (like Riverbend Park), hikes a little farther afield (such as Shenandoah), and hikes in other states while traveling for vacation (Giant Mountain; Joshua Tree National Park).  We also didn’t only hike twelve times – there were plenty of days on the trail that I recapped for you here but didn’t include in my hiking project (either because I already had a hike for the month, or because it wasn’t a new-to-me trail and so didn’t count) and plenty of hikes that I didn’t blog at all.  We just love hiking and nature so much – they’ll always be part of our lives.

Things To Do This Year

• Use my dSLR camera more (like, lots more). And along the same lines, improve my photography skills – particularly outdoor photography.  I did use my dSLR camera more, toting it along to the sunflower field and around California.  Would love to use it even more than that; it’s always a goal.

• Plant another container garden with Peanut – and try not to kill it this time.  Done!  We planted our garden last spring and kept it alive(ish) until the first frost.  I’m nowhere near my friend Jenny, whose extensive garden is a thing of beauty, but I tried, I learned stuff, I had fun with the kids and I rarely bought herbs or cherry tomatoes all year.  A few of my heartier herbs are still going strong, and I’m going to try to keep them alive through the winter.
• Hang a birdfeeder and start learning to identify our neighborhood birds. (Do we have neighborhood birds?)  We did hang the birdfeeder and are now the most popular hangout spot for the neighborhood birds.  It’s a lot of fun to watch them!  We get a lot of sparrows (I think?) and the occasional cardinal – as you can see, the learning to identify part is taking longer.  Googling “little brown birds northern Virginia” isn’t actually all that informative.
• Get back to the yoga studio, and take up barre3.  I definitely did this, and I am so glad that I did.  Even if I did get attached to a particular yoga instructor, only to have her move to Africa (I swear it had nothing to do with me!).  I’m definitely in the habit of carving out a few mornings a week for yoga, and I’m working on getting there with barre3 – I did find a class I really like at a time I can go, so it’s just a matter of making myself do it, and it still seems to be the first thing that drops off the agenda on busy weeks.

• Run a longer distance race (I’m already registered!).  The race I had in mind was the George Washington Parkway Classic (a 10-miler) and I didn’t end up running that.  But I did run the MCM 10K in October, and after several years of running only 5Ks, if that, I think a 10K is a good distance to aspire to.  And I ran a five-mile turkey trot on Thanksgiving morning, as well.  I think I’m finally starting to get my running legs back and I’m so happy.

• Spend more time in Barsetshire (both Trollope’s version and Thirkell’s version).  Check and check!  I read Barchester Towers this year – the second in Trollope’s Chronicles of Barsetshire, and quite a fewThirkells.  I have more to read in 2018 and I’m looking forward to them with great anticipation.

• Bag another ADK peak. (I’m thinking Giant of the Valley, but haven’t made up my mind…)  Giant it was!  Steve and I had such a great time on the mountain in July.  We both agreed that although it’s supposed to be a “more challenging” mountain (they’re all challenging) we both preferred Giant to Cascade.  We liked the trails better, and it was more scenic – especially the Giant’s Washbowl halfway up, and the better views on the way to the peak.
• Clean out our basement until we aren’t storing anything except holiday decorations and furniture.  Well, this didn’t happen at all.  Maybe in 2018?

• Read diversely again – at least 33% underrepresented voices.  I haven’t done my final tallies for this year, since we still have another week to go, so I can’t say for sure, but I expect to not only meet, but exceed this goal again this year.  Making the effort to read diversely has been really personally rewarding and I am hoping it’s also making me a better citizen of the world.
• Incorporate memory-keeping into new areas of my home.  Well, I tried, although life is so busy that it’s hard to put much thought into a goal like this.  I added new memories to my Christmas tree, with ornaments I collected at the national parks we visited this year (although the ornament I bought at Channel Islands seems to have vanished – grrrrrr; it’ll turn up as soon as I take the tree down and pack away the decorations) and photo ornaments I made using pictures of the kids.  I also hung up my grandmother’s paintings, putting some in rooms that I wouldn’t normally consider for them (I have a big one in the kitchen).  Other things I wanted to do – a shell jar to display our collection; framing the kids’ Christening outfits – didn’t happen.

• Travel. Someplace amazing. Maybe a few someplaces.  Done!  Didn’t get to travel as much as I’d have liked to, but that’s the case every year.  (I could travel eight months out of the year and still think it wasn’t enough.)  We made it up to the mountains over the Fourth of July; to California for a fabulous family vacation with my parents, brother and SIL, and aunt, uncle and cousin; to New York City to see Hamilton in October; and out to Little Washington with my parents for a quick getaway after Thanksgiving.  I haven’t turned my attention to 2018 travel yet, but I’m sure it will be another year of wonderful experiences.

One Word

I have to be honest, I completely forgot about my word in the second half of the year.  But it sure didn’t forget about me.  The word I chose – or, to be more accurate, the word that chose me – was gather.  At the beginning of my first year back home in D.C. after three long, cold, and lonely years away, I really wanted to be with people again.  Steve and I spent a lot of time feeling isolated and cut off when we lived in Buffalo – as my friend Zan has eloquently mused, it’s not easy to make friends there.  And so one of the main reasons we moved home was that our people are here.

In some ways, gather has worked out just as I had hoped it would.  There are two new baby boys in the world, and I’ve held them and rocked them and covered their sweet little man faces with auntie kisses.  I have hosted birthday parties with old friends, met former colleagues for lunches around town, and joyfully wandered zoo paths and trails with people as dear to me as family.

There have also been pleasant surprises that my word has brought to my life – surprises I should, perhaps, have anticipated – but I didn’t.  Peanut started a new school, which has meant new friends for me, and we’ve forged close bonds with a few families.  She has a talent for finding the kids with the coolest moms, and we’re having the best time as a result.  We’ve filled the past year with playdates – picking blueberries, riding carousels, jumping in bounce houses (just the kids!) and watching parades.  There’s so much more good to come – we’re planning to camp this coming summer with Peanut’s BFF, S, who has the coolest parents, and we have playdates in the works with new friends.  I’ve made friends at work and through my Buy Nothing group, and – it’s just surprising.  I moved home because I wanted to be with my old friends, and I didn’t realize how many new friends would be in my life in such a short time.  It’s been a 180 degree flip from Buffalo – where I was lonely and bored – to home again, with so many old and new friends that I almost feel over-social.

Another aspect of gather that I wanted was to gather my home around me and create a sanctuary, a safe space from the craziness of life outside.  I think that’s happened, too.  We’re unpacked – although the basement is still horrifying – and just living, for the first time in three years.  We’re not going anywhere; we’re not looking ahead to the next move.  There will be another move, at some point.  But I’m not thinking about it.  I’m not worried or anticipating it.  I’m just shoring up the borders of my current space, gathering the walls and setting my burden down a bit.  I know – that doesn’t make much sense.  It makes sense in my head, though, and that’s the best I can tell you.  I needed some time to sit and exhale and be, and this year has provided that.  We’re starting to look ahead to the end of our lease – it’s still more than a year and a half away, but time is flying – and I think we might renew, rather than jumping into the market again.  I just don’t feel ready.  I’ve gathered these borders around me and my family, and I’m not ready to drop them yet.

Gather was the right word for 2017.  It was the right word for the first full year back at home, back where we belonged and among the friends that love us and support us and want us near them.  I don’t have a word for 2018 yet.  It’s a big undertaking, choosing a word – or allowing myself to be chosen.  I have a few possibilities and I want to sit with them, but I expect that if I do end up with another word of the year, it will happen the way my previous words have happened – like home, hitting me like a bolt of lightening as I dodged icy puddles in a parking garage, or gather, touching my shoulder and saying here I am and this year you will feel loved again as I drove across the Potomac on my way to hold a friend’s baby boy.  Something will come again, I think.  Or it won’t, and that will be okay, too.

Did you make resolutions for 2017?  How’d they go?