Yesterday was the beginning of Advent, which is one of my favorite times of the year.  I’ve loved the season leading up to Christmas for as long as I can remember.  I love the joyful anticipation of it, the fun of opening little Advent calendar doors every day, and the folding in of Christmas traditions especially as the holiday grows closer.  Yet as an adult, and especially since becoming a mom, I also find that Advent can be a stressful time, packed with pressure and obligations.  There’s the crush of work as I wind down the year in the office… the rush of taking Christmas photos of Peanut, ordering cards and addressing piles of envelopes, all while crossing my fingers tightly that they’ll arrive at their destinations before Christmas (last year, they didn’t)… the bah-humbug feeling of just wanting to put my feet up when instead I have to get dressed up and make merry at someone’s holiday party…

Still, last-minute to-dos notwithstanding, I love Advent.  I’m sometimes frazzled when I’m in the thick of it, but on the other side, it’s the twinkly lights, the Christmas books with Peanut in my lap, the fun afternoons baking cookies with friends (and getting covered in flour), the joy of choosing the perfect gift for a loved one, that stick with me.  It’s those things that have me looking forward to Advent all year long.

We have a few Advent practices in our family.  While I wish we had it together enough to light an Advent wreath or make our own homemade Advent calendar… well, maybe in a future year.  (Not next year, with a three-year-old and a baby, but someday.)  But we always do a few things together to commemorate the season.

• Although we don’t make our own Advent calendar (or wrap up books and movies, as much as I’m in awe of the moms who do that) we do open a calendar.  Nana and Grandad send one to Peanut each year, continuing a tradition in which my Nana used to send an Advent calendar to our family when I was growing up.  And this year we’ll be opening a second Advent calendar – a Star Wars Lego Advent calendar I bought for hubby as one of his birthday gifts.  Behind each door is a Lego figurine from the Star Wars universe… including Darth Vader dressed as Santa Claus.  Obviously that had to happen.
• We read a chapter in Jostein Gaarder’s The Christmas Mystery each day.  It’s an Advent-calendar-inside-a-book; each chapter takes place as a young boy opens another door in a magical Advent calendar and comes closer to solving the mystery of a young girl’s disappearance from his hometown fifty years before.  I think Peanut will love hearing us read  a chapter each night, this year.
• We listen to Handel’ Messiah, in person if we can – before children, we used to see Messiah performed every Christmas season at the Kennedy Center – but at least on CD.  (And we argue over Josh Groban’s Noel.  I’m firmly pro-Josh and will put his Christmas CD on whenever I can, but hubby has some kind of Grinchy dislike for him.)

This year, I want to add on another practice: I want to be still every day.  Even if it’s only for five minutes.  Life is hectic, never more so than now.  With a rambunctious (but adorable!) toddler to chase and a baby on the way, a busy time at work, a house that still needs considerable organizing and unpacking, and holiday preparations, I rarely take the time to just sit and be still.  Even if I’m sitting, I’m doing something.  I’m knitting Peanut’s Weasley sweater, peeling apples for homemade applesauce, working my way through a stack of magazines, or hastily reading a library book before the return deadline.  But as much as I thrive on the activity, and as much as I love the hustle of the holiday season (most of the time) I also need to take a step back and appreciate the life I’m living right now, and the deeper meaning behind all of the rushing around that I’m doing.

So that’s my mission this Advent: to slow down, take a breath, and enjoy the waiting.  For five minutes every day.  To be by myself, with myself, and just breathe in the season.