Fellow shorties: today I have a public service announcement to share with you.  BEWARE of the book Maisy Cleans Up.  This book is part of a nefarious scheme by tall people to get you to pick up after yourself.  Do not be taken in.  I repeat: DO NOT BE TAKEN IN.

For those of you not acquainted with Maisy, she is the star of a series of books about a goody-two-shoes mouse and her socially awkward friends.  I have several of these books and let me tell you, they are head scratchers.  Like, for instance, in Maisy Takes a Bath, Maisy’s friend Tallulah, who is some kind of bird, repeatedly rings Maisy’s doorbell and then (after being told at least three times to go away) pirates Maisy’s bath.  That would SO not fly in my house.  (<–See what I did there?  Bird?  Fly?  Bird?  Fly?)  And in Maisy Makes Lemonade, Eddie the Elephant comes over and steals all of Maisy’s lemonade.  But anyway.

In Maisy Cleans Up (spoilers ahead!) Maisy is cleaning her house.  (Red flag #1 – what kind of kid voluntarily cleans the house?  I’m assuming Maisy is a kid, since she goes to preschool.  Although you never see her parents, which is another head scratcher.)  She has mopped the kitchen when her “friend” Charley the Crocodile comes over and immediately goes into the kitchen to steal food from Maisy.  I like the way Charley thinks, but sadly for him the floor is wet because Maisy had mopped it (WHO is she trying to impress here?) so Charley has to wait.  Rather unrealistically, he uses this time to help Maisy do things like pick up toys and wash the windows.  (Red flag #2 – do you really want to let a crocodile near your toys?)  Then Maisy and Charley both eat cupcakes.  (Red flag #3 – do you really want to let a crocodile near your cupcakes?)

Ankle-biters, I want to share a cautionary tale with you.  Santa very cruelly brought me this book (why, Santa?  I’m a good baby!), and my mom very cruelly (and pointlessly) keeps reading it.  At the same time, and completely coincidentally I assure you, I have developed an intellectual interest in putting small objects into receptacles.  One day, I made the mistake of putting my blocks into the basket that my mom uses to hide them from me.  This got my mom freakishly excited.  She screeched “LOOK AT YOU PUTTING YOUR TOYS AWAY!  GOOD GIRL!  GOOD GIRL!  GOOD BIG GIRL PUTS HER TOYS AWAY!” and then she called my Nana to brag.  And ever since then she keeps asking me these inane questions like “Can my big girl put her blocks in the basket?  Can my big girl put her books back on the shelf?  Can my big girl put her tractor away?”  Sheesh.  You make one little mistake and they can’t let it go.

Kids: THIS BOOK IS NOTHING SHORT OF PROPAGANDA.  PURE AND SIMPLE.  If you read it once and then put any of your toys in a place where your mom thinks they should be (like I can understand the chaos in her head) YOUR PARENTS WILL THINK IT IS TIME TO TEACH YOU TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF.  Do not fall for this trick.  Let’s all stand together and tell our parents that whatever nonsense Maisy and Charley get up to, WE WILL NOT BE OPPRESSED INTO PICKING UP OUR TOYS.  Now, talk to me about these cupcakes.

Lesson for parents: What, do you think I was born yesterday?

Parents who want to oppress their children into indentured block collection can buy Maisy Cleans Up here, or support your local indie bookstore!  This is not an affiliate link, because if it was I would have more blocks to leave on the floor.