Okay, adults, are you ready to talk about a very sad, sad book today?  Get your tissue box ready, because I mean this book is SAD.  I cry every time my mom reads me this book.  Because it’s so sad.

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The reason that this book is so sad is that at first you think it’s about a triumph of the human owlish spirit.  What happens is, it’s nighttime and everyone goes to sleep except for the owl.  I don’t know why but the owl doesn’t have a naptime or a bedtime or anything, which is SO COOL MOMMY.  Maybe the owl’s mom is just cooler than my mom.  Anyway, it’s night and instead of going to bed the owl PLAYS, OMG MOMMY.  She flies by all these other babies animals and they are all sleeping like chumps.  And the owl just says HA HA YOU GUYS YOU ARE SUCH LOSERS WITH BEDTIMES LOL.

I know what you’re thinking: what is sad about this?  This owl is the luckiest baby owl in the entire world, with NO BEDTIME MOMMY.  The baby owl probably had a bedtime once but she perservered and won and now she has NO BEDTIME MOMMY.  So that’s what pulls you in and makes you think that this is an inspirational book about a baby owl who beat all the odds and got rid of bedtime, which obviously we are all trying to do.

But then.  But then!  I don’t mean to give away the ending but I’m going to give away the ending.  What happens is that all the other animals wake up and the owl FALLS ASLEEP.  I know what you’re thinking: WUT?!?!?!?!  You are so inspiring to me, owl, or you were until you fell victim to NAPTIME.  What is that about?  I don’t know why, but I keep forgetting what happens and getting excited because someone finally BEAT THE NASTY BEDTIME and then the owl just falls asleep and I am crushed all over again by the tragedy of it all.

My mom really likes this book.  She likes the pictures and she likes showing me where the owl is (I humor her by looking because it seems really important to her) and she thinks that it’s some kind of relaxing book that is going to make me go to sleep.  Make me have nightmares, is what I say.  Nightmares about BEDTIME and NAPTIME and THINKING YOU HAVE OVERCOME BUT THEN YOU HAVEN’T OMG SO SAD.  But it is kind of funny that my mom thinks that this book will make me go to sleep.  She keeps on reading it and she likes to read it in a very soft voice that she thinks is soothing but really it just fills me with righteous anti-bedtime rage.  I know there are other babies whose parents are probably doing the same thing, so I would just like to say LOL, ADULTS, stop reading this book because if you really think this is going to put babies to sleep then I want some of whatever is in your bottle.

Lesson for parents: LOL this is a joke, right?

Also: I will never nap I will never nap I will never nap I will never…

Psst, buy the book here if you must, but DOWN WITH BEDTIME.

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What can I say, to convey how wonderful The Song of Achilles was?  “This and this and this!”

The Song of Achilles stars Patroclus, a peripheral character in The Iliad.  When the story opens, Patroclus is an unhappy, shy young prince.  His father feels nothing but scorn and disappointment toward him, his mother barely knows him, and the sons of the nobles of his father’s court bully him.  Patroclus’s only joy comes from wandering alone and playing with a pair of dice – until he accidentally kills one of the boys that bully him, and he is exiled to King Peleus’ court in the land of Phthia, and his life really begins.  The prince of Phthia is a young boy, about the same age as Patroclus, but who represents everything Patroclus knows he will never be – golden, handsome, gifted, athletic, popular, son of a goddess.  Even Patroclus’s own father says that the prince of Phthia is “what a son should be.”  So when golden Prince Achilles notices Patroclus, befriends him, and makes him a constant companion, Patroclus is – at first – overawed.  Still, he soon learns to see Achilles for what he truly is – a kind, unassuming boy who loves music, who won’t fight in front of other people because he’s too good.  Patroclus and Achilles become best friends and, eventually, they become lovers.  But then word comes that Helen of Sparta has been snatched from her husband by the impudent Prince Paris of Troy, and the kingdoms of Greece must unite to bring her back.  This is Achilles’ moment, as Aristos Achaion – the “best of the Greeks” – he is to play the starring role in this war that he didn’t start and with which he wants nothing to do.  And of course, Patroclus goes with him.

I’ve never read The Iliad, but I understand that the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, who is only a peripheral character is Homer’s text, has been a source of speculation and questioning for centuries.  My sister-in-law read The Iliad for an English class and the theory that Achilles and Patroclus were lovers was mentioned, but not explored.  This is the theory that Madeline Miller takes on in The Song of Achilles, because it is Patroclus who sets in motion the events that bring about the beginning of the end of the Trojan War – and why Patroclus?  What was it about Patroclus that spurred Achilles to the climax of his own story?  It’s never explained in The Iliad, but Miller’s take that the two were lovers rings very true, perhaps thanks to the internal logic of the story or perhaps thanks to her lovely writing.

Yes, the writing is superb.  The Song of Achilles reads like a classic of ages, even thought it was only published last year.  There are parts that are more like poetry than a novel.  “This and this and this!”  I could taste the figs, feel the sand of the Trojan beach under my feet, smell the cooking fires in the Myrmidons’ camp, hear the jangling of Briseis’ bracelets and the screams of dying men on the battlefield.  Miller makes you believe every word.  She makes you buy in, wholly and completely, to Achilles and Patroclus and their love.  She tugs at your heartstrings and she astounds you with beautiful, perfectly-crafted sentences and a plot that marches inexorably forward toward destruction and tragedy.

It was all just so beautiful.  That’s all I can say.  “This and this and this!”  And now I’m going to have to read The Iliad.

The Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller – buy it here!  (Not an affiliate link.)

Reading is my oldest and favorite hobby.  I literally can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t love to curl up with a good book.  Here are my reads for February, 2013…

A Light in the Window, by Jan Karon (Mitford Years #2) – I read the first book in this “gentle fiction” series last February when life was a little bit overwhelming and it seemed like a good idea to pick it up again after a couple of weeks back at work, and I read it on the plane for my first business trip since returning from maternity leave.  I wasn’t over-thrilled with it, but I’m still keeping an open mind on the series since I’ve heard that it gets better and better.  Much of the time, I was just irritated by Father Tim’s constant dithering about his neighbor – I wanted to shake him and shout “MAN UP!”  The only characters I really enjoyed were the Mayor and Miss Sadie, both of whom are peripheral to the series.  I’m not declaring myself “done” with Mitford, but like last February, I’m going to save the next book for when I get overwhelmed.

 Village Centenary, by Miss Read (Chronicles of Fairacre #15) – Fifteen books into this series, every time I open a Fairacre book these days I feel as though I’m getting a breath of fresh, clean air.  Katie sent me this book some time ago and I sat on it (not literally) because I like to read a series in order (after I idiotically read the first four Harry Potter novels #1 – #4 – #2 – #3 and ruined all kinds of surprises for myself).  This was one of my favorite Fairacre novels.  The village school is turning one hundred years old and Miss Read, as headmistress, is in charge of the celebrations.  With the help of Miss Clare, the new infants’ teacher Miss Briggs, and a host of townspeople, Miss Read will throw the birthday party of the century – literally.  Meanwhile, the school is getting a new skylight and there are rumors that Holly Lodge might be sold and tenant Miss Quinn turned out of her home.  As with all Fairacre novels, the plots wrap up with warmth and good grace.

 Mrs Queen Takes the Train, by William Kuhn – I love reading authors’ imaginative takes on Queen Elizabeth’s inner workings (The Uncommon Reader was my first foray and still a favorite) and Mrs Queen was delightful.  Queen Elizabeth, facing the decommissioning of the royal train, sinks into a bit of malaise and fancies a trip up to Leith to visit the royal yacht, Britannica.  Disguised in a hoodie, she slips out of Buckingham Palace and boards a train.  “Mrs Queen” might be the centerpiece, but the real drama in the story comes with the cast of six different individuals – a dresser, a lady-in-waiting, a butler, an equerry, a stable girl and a cheese shop clerk – who band together in a strange alliance to track the Queen down and bring her back before anyone else notices she’s missing.  A fun, sweet and touching romp.  (And bonus – I tweeted #fridayreads that I was reading Mrs Queen over a salad one Friday lunch hour, and got a charming tweet back from the author, which is always fun.) 

The Two Towers, by J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings #2) – I’m continuing to work my way through the Lord of the Rings trilogy (I set a goal to do this before my next birthday) and this second installment was a lot of fun.  The excitement and drama are definitely building up to fever pitch after the somewhat slow-ish start to the series in The Fellowship of the Ring (I’m not complaining – I’m perfectly fine with slow plots if the writing, character development and atmosphere are good, and wow, were they ever).  When the novel opens, Merry and Pippin have been kidnapped by a band of raiding orcs, and Aragorn is leading Legolas and Gimli in a chase across Rohan to try to rescue the hobbits (who prove more resourceful than one might have anticipated).  Meanwhile, Frodo and Sam are still trudging toward Mordor to destroy the Ring, helped along the way by an unlikely guide.  The end of the book had me turning pages at record speed, racing ahead to find out what happens.

 A Long Long Time Ago and Essentially True, by Brigid Pasulka – In a tiny Polish village called Half-Village, a young man called the Pigeon falls in love with a young woman, Anielica, “the Angel,” and courts her with the only thing he has to set him apart from her other suitors: his “golden hands.”  The Pigeon presents himself at Anielica’s door and offers to renovate her house at no charge.  Stone by stone, board by board, he builds himself into Anielica’s heart and family – but World War II and Communism delay their marriage.  Fifty years later, their granddaughter Beata (called “Baba Yaga” after the nasty witch of Polish legend, because she’s so unattractive) tries to find her path in 1990s Krakow, in a Poland that’s deciding – much like she herself is – what it will be now that the future has arrived.  I loved, loved, LOVED the story of Anielica and the Pigeon and would have been perfectly happy to read an entire book just about them.  I did feel empathy for Baba Yaga and her story drew me in at the end, but it was Anielica and the Pigeon who were the real stars of this book.  Lovely, evocative writing and an ending that is both sad and hopeful.  Highly recommended.

 Summer at Fairacre, by Miss Read (Chronicles of Fairacre #16) – It’s the best season of the year in Fairacre.  The downs are a riot of color, the sun is beating down on a very warm, very happy Miss Read, and everyone has a little extra spring in their step.  Miss Read has plenty to bring her joy this season – not least of all, the wedding of infants’ teacher Miss Briggs.  But no season is without its troubles.  Young Joe Coggs has taken up residence in the schoolhouse while his mother is hospitalized; local ornithologist Mr. Mawne is lonely and is annoying Miss Read and Miss Quinn with his attentions while his wife is away; and most disconcerting of all, Miss Read’s good friend Amy has disappeared.  Plenty of drama kept me turning pages, and the descriptions of summer in Fairacre kept the winter blues at bay during a February cold snap.

 The Midwife’s Tale, by Sam Thomas – Another page-turner (I’ve had some good ones this month).  It’s 1644 and the city of York , held by the King, is surrounded by the rebel armies of Parliament.  Lady Bridget Hodgson, the midwife of the tale, is doing her best to attend to the city’s mothers despite the siege when she receives distressing news – her good friend, Esther Cooper, has been accused of murdering her husband and is destined for the stake.  Convinced that Esther is innocent, Lady Bridget sets out to find the real killer.  She is joined by Martha, a housemaid with a checkered past, and together they must untangle the web of political intrigue that surrounds Cooper’s death.  The Midwife’s Tale could get quite violent in parts, but I never felt the violence was gratuitous (a complaint I’ve had with other historical fiction, such as The Pillars of the Earth) – in this case, it simply rang true to the times and added to the story, which is all I ask.  Some of the plot twists were a little obvious, but I’m glad to say that the resolution to the main mystery surprised me (and the clues were there, so it wasn’t a case of the author dropping only red herrings and then making the reader feel like an idiot by “revealing” the true culprit without any buildup in the story – a whodunit pet peeve of mine).  I appreciated the historical details and will definitely be seeking out more by this author.

Mrs Pringle of Fairacre, by Miss Read (Chronicles of Fairacre #17) – Mrs Pringle is one of those characters that we love to hate.  Grouchy and dour by nature, she is nonetheless a fixture in Fairacre and the town – and school – wouldn’t be the same without her.  Her verbal sparring matches with Miss Read, Mr Willet, and everyone else in town are some of my favorite Fairacre scenes, and her devotion to the school stoves is touchingly comic.  In this enjoyable interlude, Miss Read looks back on the history of her own long war with Mrs Pringle, complete with reminiscences by other villagers, which go far to explain why Mrs Pringle is the way she is.  Since the “old misery” is one of my favorite characters in the series, I had fun with this one.

 The Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller – After seeing this on Booklust, I knew I was going to have to check out this re-imagining of Homer’s The Iliad.  Patroclus, a peripheral character in The Iliad, becomes the central focus as The Song of Achilles explores his relationship with the Greek hero.  I enjoyed the entire book, but the ending was mind-blowing.  I was flipping pages at furious speeds and wiping away tears.  That’s all I’ll say for now – full review coming next week.

The Scarlet Pimpernel, by Baroness Emmuska Orczy – What a fun romp this was!  The year is 1792 and amidst the bloodbath in Paris, there is one shadowy figure who seems to flit in and out of France, plucking aristocrats practically out of the jaws of the guillotine – and doing so with style and “demned” cheek, I should say.  That figure is the Scarlet Pimpernel, a “swashbuckling rescuer of aristocrats.”  By day he is Sir Percy Blakeney, icon of the stylish Briton, London man-about-town, and widely regarded by everyone to be a funny, but lazy, moron.  Sir Percy’s mask is so opaque that even his own wife, Marguerite, can’t see through it.  So when a former acquaintence, and a member of the bloodthirsty Committee for Public Safety, presents her with the option of helping him track the Scarlet Pimpernel or lose her brother, who has been helping aristocrats to escape, she feels a little badly about the gallant stranger but there’s no question – she’ll save her brother.  Until she realizes that by capitulating, she has unwittingly sent her husband into a trap.  It’s up to Marguerite to warn Percy before it’s too late!  I don’t know why I waited so long to read this.  Fun, hilarious, and quite the page turner (warning: it was a little racist in parts, but take into account the fact that it was written in 1902).  I’m glad I finally made the time for The Scarlet Pimpernel – it’s well worth a read.

What a February!  Excuse me while I pat myself on the back, because I’m really happy with the reading I did this month.  (And yes, I do congratulate myself for making the time to do something I really enjoy.  It’s not always easy.)  I had a couple of page-turners this month – The Two Towers, The Midwife’s Tale, and The Song of Achilles come to mind – and the Fairacre books are always quick reads.  So that accounts, to an extent, for my extravagant book total this month.  But for a short month, I don’t care what gets me there – I’m psyched that I was able to read so much, and so many books that I really enjoyed.  The Song of Achilles was the highlight of the month, but The Scarlet Pimpernel was fantastic too, and Mrs Queen, The Two Towers, A Long Long Time Ago, and the Fairacre visits kept me happily turning pages, too.  Plenty of reading, AND I enjoyed all of it?  Recipe for a good month, indeed.