I’m writing this post as I try to catch my breath from my first postpartum workout.  (I’ve been going to yoga class but I don’t consider those workouts because I have been attending a relaxing, noodle-ifying all levels class, not the strenuous vinyasa flow I usually favor, so I haven’t worked up much of a sweat.)  Actually, more than my first postpartum workout, this was my first workout in a LONG time.  Between pregnancy exhaustion in the first trimester, and then being put on activity restrictions and later bed rest toward the end of my pregnancy, plus C-section recovery, I can’t even remember the last time I laced up the old Mizunos and went out for a good sweat sesh.  Today I decided it was finally time to get back in the saddle.  Peanut was sleeping and I was relatively well rested, so I hit the treadmill and added a short kettlebell routine for good measure.  And I can’t lie: it was hard, yo.  My cardio endurance is all but gone, and my muscles were screaming after just two shortened circuits with the ‘bell.

I wasn’t expecting to fall right back into my old ability.  I’m not the same person who (slowly) ran the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler and the Virginia Wine Country Half Marathon, who could spend two hours scampering around the tennis court or climb a mountain or power through a Jillian Michaels workout on the advanced level.  Stuff has happened – I had a high risk pregnancy and major surgery, and I’ve spent the last two months going to and from the NICU and then living in 3-hour intervals (Peanut is on a schedule, and she STICKS to it, people.)  I sleep when I can, eat when I can, and workouts have just not happened.

But you know what?  I’m calling it.  That’s over.  It’s time to get back to my old self.  There was once a time when, faced with a stressful day or a tough piece of news, nothing would make me feel better the way sweating would.  Circuit training was my stress release, and running was my “Me Time.”  I ate healthy, whole foods and fit in workouts almost every day, and I had tons of energy and a positive outlook.  I miss that version of myself (especially the tons of energy part) and I want her back.  So as I ramp up the workouts and dial down the convenience foods, here are my postpartum fitness goals:

Short Term: Run the GW Parkway Classic, April 2013

I’ve been wanting to run this race for awhile (the t-shirts are really cute) and there’s no better race to use as a “goal race” to encourage me to get back into running.  I haven’t run since early in pregnancy – something about it just felt wrong to me.  (Call it mother’s intuition, since I later found out that due to the complications I had, it would have been a pretty bad idea for me to run.)  My last race was February, 2012 – I was about four weeks pregnant but didn’t know it, and I spent the entire race (which was on snow-packed trails) wondering why I felt so lousy.  (I figured it out about a week later, when I finally took the ol’ pregnancy test.)

I really enjoyed running races – I was never fast, never going to win anything, but I liked the crowds and the racing scene and the sense of accomplishment after finishing, especially a long distance.  The t-shirts didn’t hurt, either.  And I miss that atmosphere and the feeling of achieving a goal.  So I’m planning to get back into running races, mostly shorter 5K and 10K distances, at least for awhile.  (Training for a half marathon was time consuming, and I just don’t want to spend that much time away from Peanut.)  But it’s good to have one larger race on the calendar, so that’s what the Parkway will be for me.  Five months out – I’ve got a lot of work to do, but I’m excited.

Medium Term: Lose the Baby Weight

I’m not going to try to tell you that I didn’t gain any baby weight, or that I don’t want to lose it, because you’d know I was lying.  You’re a smart bunch.  Of course I’m more interested in general health, how my clothes fit, how I feel and what kind of endurance I have for my daily activities than in a number on a scale.  Still, the number on the scale is one measurement and it’s higher at the moment than I would like because, duh, I was pregnant.  But now I’m not pregnant anymore and I’d like to feel like myself again since I’m no longer sharing space with another person.  I consider this my medium term goal because I don’t plan on doing any crash diets – slow and steady wins the race.  I’d love to be at my goal, or even well on my way, by the time Peanut turns one year old.  But if I’m not as far along as I planned, that’s okay too – life throws curve balls sometimes (hello, seven weeks in the NICU) and there’s no telling what I might have to deal with.  Health is a lifestyle, and consistency is more important than arbitrary deadlines.  That said, I’m going to dial up my efforts to eat well and move more and get rid of my extra Peanut cushioning.

Long Term: Be a Healthy Mom

I’m a fan of the TV show The Biggest Loser.  (Well, not as much recently – after season 11, the contestants stopped supporting one another or treating one another with much respect, and now it kind of gives me the sads.  But I still watch, because I keep holding out hope that this will be the season they ditch the drama and go back to being heartwarming.)  Anyway.  A lot of the BL contestants are moms who ended up unhealthy because they put everyone else’s needs before their own and forgot how to take care of themselves.  I don’t want that to be me.  Now, I’m not saying I ignore Peanut.  She needs to eat when she needs to eat.  And sleep, and do tummy time, and get love and snuggles.  She’s clearly my top priority.  But part of taking care of Peanut has to include taking care of me, too, because Peanut deserves a healthy mom.  She deserves a mom who shows her that exercise can be fun and fulfilling, and that healthy foods can be delicious and also make her feel good inside, and that there’s room for the occasional treat too.  I want to spend many years setting a good example for Peanut and teaching her the skills she needs to live a long, healthy life, and that starts with me walking the walk.

If I have it my way, Peanut will be a kid who grows up helping me prepare tasty, healthy meals with tons of veggies, who enjoys eating fresh foods and who understands what foods are going to make her feel good and why.  And she’ll be a kid who sees Mom set goals, work hard and achieve them – crossing the finish line of a race, for instance.  I hope she gets bitten by the running bug too, and maybe joins Girls on the Run or signs up for the kids’ one-mile fun runs while Mom is running a race.  She’ll see me making movement and health a part of my life, and hopefully she will be inspired to make it a part of her life too.  This isn’t a goal that can ever be completely achieved, because I don’t think I’ll ever be done trying to set her a good example or live my best life in her honor.  But I consider living a healthy lifestyle of my own to be a crucial part of what it means for me to take care of Peanut.

So, there you have it: my zero to hero goals.  I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.  Next week – my plan for getting there!